Words ‘o Wisdom: Happy Weekend Edition

“You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.”

-Wedding Crashers

The Quest for Quiet on Edgware Road – and the Perfect Schawarma

Little Beirut begins here, and no, this does not involve tossing ping pong balls into plastic cups

It all began with my quest for a study spot. In a flat of seven rowdy SU kids, it’s virtually impossible to write an essay comparing and contrasting the policies of Tony Blair and good ol’ W. So the day after moving in, I stepped outside and ventured down Edgware Road, a major street in central London known for its distinct Middle Eastern flavor. I was in search of a quaint coffeeshop where I’d be able to scribble brilliant ideas onto napkins, ala J.K. Rowling.

The Time for Introductions

   

image from flickr.com, user vince&allyn

What I read this past week:

“John Henry Days” by Colson Whitehead
“Y: The Last Man” (Vol. 5-10) by Brian K. Vaughn, Pia Guerra, etc.
“Lyrical and Critical Essays” by Albert Camus
“The Commitments” by Roddy Doyle

Alright, so normally on this blog I’d spend the next 250ish words writing about those books or at least one of them (the more likely option, of the two).  But, not today!  Right now is the time for introductions, or at least a description of what this blog will consist of and my reasoning behind it.

This blog is going to be about what I read.  Kind of boring, right?  But it totally won’t be because, 1) I’m a pretty marvelous writer and 2) I read a lot of books.  How many?  Well, just look at the list up there.  And that’s just one week!  Granted I didn’t finish all of them–what’s the fun in that–but I did pick them all up and get at least fair way into them.

There’s two reasons I read as much as I do.  First of all, I don’t sleep well and rather than spend hours upon hours laying in bed staring at the ceiling contemplating all of the many missteps of my life, I read.  Secondly, I’m about as fickle a reader as they come.  Some writer, Nick Hornby perhaps, wrote that if a book doesn’t grab you by page 50, you should drop it.  Now, this isn’t particularly fair, but have you seen what’s out there to read?  There’s enough stuff out there to fill a few dozen libraries!  And supposedly some of it’s even good.  So I do just that, if it doesn’t catch me, I move on to the next book, in hopes of falling in love.

image from flickr.com, user firstcuts

With all this reading going on, and my inflated perception of the value of my own thoughts, I’ve decided to blog about it.  So that’s exactly what I’ll be doing for the next few months, or at least until I grow bored, lose the plot, and start blogging about my favorite types of Japanese brush pens.  Or something like that.  Until then though, it’ll be like a map of my reading journey.  Except nowhere near as lame as that sounds.

Oh yeah, next week expect something about “John Henry Days.”  I’m only on page 30, but it seems good so far.

–Bryan Hood

P.S. The original title to this post was, “What Up, Bitches?,” but I decided to save the insults for a real post.

[editor’s disclaimer: Bryan says these images are for free association. We think he’s crazy, but that’s why he’s writing for us. –JERK]

Trashy Moments

The famous line from the Wizard of Oz, “Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore,” should be “thank god we’re not in Kansas… those people are crazy!”

We're not in Kansas anymore...

Kansas made the weird news headlines this week when a couple got caught during an “intimate moment.” Now this may sound somewhat normal, but their “moment” was in a trash bin and to top it off they not only got interrupted, but also robbed during it.

This is definitely weird news, but it is even more insane because they were not some drunk, horny teenagers that just couldn’t wait until they got home. Oh no, the two people that got caught were both 44 years old. A trash bin? Really? You couldn’t have tried to be a little classier than that. I mean come on, who seriously looks at the place where stinky, festering, disgusting waste gets put and thinks to themselves, “isn’t that a romantic and awesome place to have sex, just hold your nose hunny!” Umm, I think not!

So That’s Where That Came From…

 

When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way

Big news people: I finally watched West Side Story for the first time. I know, I know, as a self-proclaimed movie fanatic, it’s about time right?

Now that I bit the bullet, I must say the film was pretty good. Aside from the occasional boring and extremely corny parts (I mean who really falls head-over-heels in love to the point where they are planning their wedding after one day?), it made some valid points about how dumb gangs and violence can be.

Even though I disagree with the extremely tight pants worn by all of the men in the film, (thank God I didn’t live during the 50s) everything is a bit clearer now.

I finally understand the parody West Bank Story and realized that it is, in fact, a parody. Yes, the title similarity was lost on me.

Daisy – Irony or Honesty?

I would never have thought that analyzing the progression of Brand New’s albums would drive me to sitting alone in a small dark room in the company of Ben and Jerry. Brand New is, in my opinion, an amazing group – good lyrics, great music. But damn, are they depressing.

Brand New's album, Daisy

 

Brand New is one of those bands who have old and new stuff, and the difference is drastic. So here’s what my pals Ben, Jerry and I came up with when we listened to Brand New’s albums.

First album: “Your Favorite Weapon.” Punk-y music. Bitter, scathing lyrics. You could totally tell that the guy who wrote the songs, frontman Jesse Lacey, had some issues. So what did he do? He turned to music. His best friend screwed him over. Bam. Song (“Seventy Times 7”). A girl blew him off. Song (“Last Chance to Lose Your Keys”). But he kept it upbeat. Ben, Jerry and I are loving it.

Second album: “Deja Entendu.” Music on this one? Less punk, more emo. Lyrics on Deja? Again, emo. Jesse has heavier issues that have taken a more permanent residence in his psyche. He’s bitter about being on the road so much (“I Will Play My Game Beneath the Spinning Light”), and has developed a very Holden Caulfield-esque attitude about loss of innocence (“Sic Transit Gloria…Glory Fades”).

Ben, Jerry and I are pulled into Lacey’s depressing downward spiral. But it’s captivating–I don’t want to get out. I can relate to Jesse; he understands my issues, he gets it.

Booming Buyers

Whether it’s old black leggings and a t-shirt or faded chucks full of holes, SU has joined most colleges with the reputation of being un-fashionable and completely trendy.

The past few days, however, have offered a tantalizing treat for SU students who don’t have much money to drop on name brands and impromptu clothing buys. This weekend Boom Babies, usually known for its over priced prom-ish dresses, is dropping its prices and is hosting a rummage sale from Sept 12 to the 27.

Full priced clothing inside the store is 25 percent off. But the sales outside are where the real steals are. High waisted grunge jeans, old-fashioned dresses and vintage shoes fill the racks outside the store. Best of all, Boom Babies seem to have forgotten how great these styles are, pricing them much lower than 25 percent off. I bought two pairs of jeans for 19 dollars and got complements on them all weekend long.

For other shoppers, the jewelry sale inside is also a great place to sort through. Jewelry can make the outfit, and as Chanel always said, “A woman should mix fake and real…I love fakes because I find such jewelry provocative… the point of jewelry isn’t to make a woman look rich.”

With that in mind, some chains cost as little as five dollars, although you have to search for them. There are tons of flashy rings that can also spruce up an outfit. The key when shopping rummage sales remember that it’s not about finding the whole outfit.

You have to work the gems that you can find. One wooden ring can break or make an outfit, just look at Elisabeth Moss ruining her one shoulder dress or AnnaLynne McCord looking super bold at the Emmys. Their jewelry was the key.

AnnaLynne McCord's outfit pops with her bright neckline.

~Amity Paye

Words o’ Wisdom: Thursday Edition

“As you were, I was. As I am, you will be.”

Hunter S. Thompson (“Hell’s Angels”)

The man himself.

 

 

~The Jerks

Eva Green Cracks in a Boarding School

Ridley Scott and Jordan Scott from fashionmagazine.com at Cracks Premiere at TIFF

[This is Nigel Smith’s first movie review from the Toronto International Film Festival. You can read about his experience overall at jerkmagazine.net.]

Director Jordan Scott has both pros and cons working against her for her first feature length film, Cracks. On the plus side, Scott is daughter to visionary director Ridley Scott, who also footed a portion of the bill for the production’s costs through his production company Scott Free.

But with prestigious roots comes closer scrutiny and higher expectations among critics and industry watchdogs. The fact Scott (the daughter) manages to evade a disaster and churn out a thoroughly engaging film is a hopeful sign for a long career to come.

Set in an elite boarding school in 1930’s England, Cracks is a simmering Gothic tale centered on teacher Miss G’s (Eva Green) close relationship with her young female students.  Unlike the stuffy headmistresses that keep a tight rein on the girls, Miss G is portrayed by Green as a modern woman, intent on letting the girls come into their own without reservation.

But from the first frames an insidious tone is set through Miss G’s peering stares and unnerving sense of possession. The girls seem blind to her undisclosed intentions, but a new Spanish student, Fiamma, sees right through her, throwing Miss G off kilter.

Eva Green in Cracks from http://www.dailymail.co.uk

For her first feature Scott shows admirable skill in setting mood and tone. The lush vistas surrounding the boarding school are breathtaking yet ominous. Through a foreboding score and measured pace established by Scott, the intents of Miss G are never spelled out, in an effort to keep the pervading mystery of the plot intact.

Scott sidesteps slightly in sequences where she employs excessive slow-mo, allowing the visuals to detract from an otherwise engrossing narrative. Thankfully her nimble young cast and Green’s seductive performance more than make up for the showy antics that get the best of Scott.

–Nigel Smith

Jerk’s Very Own “Piñata”

Hey kids,

Welcome back (or just welcome if you’re newbies and cool enough to be checkin’ out the Jerk Blog!) to the land of sub zero temps that welcome drinking…apple cider…

or snuggling under the covers with somebody just to stay warm 😉 .

Anywho, this blog is going to feature a piñata chock FULL of daily treasures for your reading pleasure. From hilarious Tweets to “music genres decoded” to Mixmaster Funk to fashion trends to Jerk Bartender, it’s gonna be wild. Bectcha just can’t wait to swing your bat and make all the candy spill out huh? I’m done with the references to childhood antics…for now.

You can probably tell I’m pretty flippin’

excited, so happy reading.

Jerk lovin’

ALL night long,

~Sam Morgenstern
Asst. Web Editor