Posts Tagged ‘Zone’

Unexpected Potpourri

Posted: September 17, 2012 by jerkmag in ZONE -- syracuse
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A bunch of drunken jerks and some employees stood in line for one of the fifteen porta-potties that sat neighboring one another at Syracuse University’s Juice Jam event. I stood among these jerks, frustrated that it wasn’t okay that I pee in the woods. I was nervous to enter into a mess of feces and stench – as I would most likely feel ready for a shower immediately afterwards.

Awaiting terror, I was shocked by the flowery scent that leaked out as I opened the plastic green door to step into the luxurious toilet box. Without a doubt, these were the nicest of porta-potties I had ever used at any triathlon or outdoor event.

Potpourri hung from a tack on one of the green, plastic walls in an orange sack that went well with the Syracuse paraphernalia that hung directly above the seat. Fake flowers of blue and orange in the upper left corner and a soft carpet on the ground to console my filthy feet. Hand sanitizer, paper towels, obvious toilet paper was guaranteed.

These may have been some of the nicest bathrooms on campus but only for a short while because in no time drunken jerks were rushing over to use it for other reasons, while employees watched the shift from luxury to mess. Now it only makes sense as to why they chose to hang such a flowery scent.

-Beatrice Schachenmayr

If you’ve been out of town all summer, expect to see some major changes to Carousel Mall. Er, Destiny USA.

Yup, you’ve heard right. The mall with the giant carousel at its core is no longer referred to as “Carousel Mall”. Even the signs on the expressways have changed. Welcome all, to “Destiny USA.”

If you’re wondering what that means for our beloved Carousel, it means the mall is getting a much needed face-lift and some impressive additions.

However, the make over and expansion will not make Destiny USA the biggest mall in the nation as the Pyramid Cos. developers once fantasized.

An indoor canal with boats, a re-creation of a Tuscan village, and rooftop parks are just some of the proposed attractions that will not fit the budget, despite a 30-year tax exemption granted by the city of Syracuse.

Some taxpayers are rightfully disappointed and even miffed by the downgrade of the remodeling. Destiny executives are defending the renovation by predicting it could make the shopping center the second most-visited mall in the nation by attracting more Canadian shoppers. A.K.A., more tour busses parked outside of Panera, so watch out for parking.

Here’s a list of what’s already opened, followed by what the developers are planning to open within the next few months.

  • Just opened: a classy Cantina Laredo Mexican restaurant, a fondue-oriented restaurant The Melting Pot, and Sak Fifth Ave. Off Fifth luxury retail outlet.
  • Opening this fall: A new Apple store; a new Burlington Coat Factory store (across from DSW on the lower level of the mall–finally something else down there!); A new Regal movie theatre that includes an IMAX theatre and a high-end digital movie palace; A town square type area called “The Canyon” with upscale dining areas; upscale restaurants P.F. Chang’s China Bistro and Gordon Biersch Brewery.

Possibly the most expansive innovation scheduled to open in November is an interactive, scientific-oriented “amusement park for the mind” called WonderWorks The 40,000 square foot facility will open on the third level of Destiny USA. A ropes course and laser tag are among 100 other interactive and educational experiences people of all ages can enjoy at the facility. It’s the first WonderWorks located inside of a mall (Others are located in Myrtle Beach, S.C., and Orlando, FL)

Wait, there’s more (with opening dates TBA):

  • Aja: a dance/nightclub
  • Texas de Brazil: a Brazillian steakhouse
  • Pole Position Raceway: an indoor electric go-kart course
  • Toby Keith’s I Love this Bar and Grill restaurant and nightclub
  • Funny Bones Comedy Club : showroom and bar

Sound awesome? I think maybe a bit too good to be true with this economy, but I could be wrong.

To follow the development of Destiny USA and see what is opening and when, click here.

-Shannon Hazlitt

We are in the throngs of an especially intense winter here in Syracuse. With a whopping 138.4 inches (so far) falling on our beloved hill, students have been forced to remain indoors for the better part of the last two months. Some may see this as a hindrance on their traditional college party forays, but being a seasoned Syracusean for three years running now, my friends and I are used to coming up with wintertime alternatives to going out. (Freshmen, take note: as humorous as seeing all the freshman girls slipping and sliding down Comstock is, save the halter-tops for Mayfest).

1)    Fishbowl –This game is delightfully naughty while still maintaining an edge of maturity. First, get a giant fishbowl (remove the fish and water) and have friends write truth or dares on slips of paper and have them anonymously put them into the bowl. Once everyone is finished, sit in a circle and each person must reach into the bowl and pick out a truth or dare. Hilarity ensues, someone will undeniably spill a beer, and you forget all about the sub-zero temperatures outside!

2)    Jersey Shore drinking game – This one speaks all for itself. Gather your friends around the ‘telly with some beers and tune in to this week’s episode of Snooki and Co. Now, while your little get together will probably never get anywhere near the level of shit show you see on “Shore,” it makes for a fun night. How to play: Take a sip whenever Snooki whines; whenever Mike “the Situation” raises his shirt, macks on a girl, or works out; or whenever any of the cast fights, cries, or throws up. (You have the additional option of chugging a beer every time they go clubbing, although you may want to have SUA on standby…)

3)    Make anything out of the Paula Deen cookbook – You’ll be in such a butter and trans fat-induced coma that you’ll pass out at 9pm and be in for the night.

4)    Arts and crafts – Everyone loves a good arts and crafts session and if they insist that they don’t, they are lying. Some favorites include: pottery painting, picture frame molding, macaroni necklaces, popsicle stick houses, and weaving friendship bracelets. (Disclaimer: Unless you plan on inviting Ke$ha, I’d steer clear of glitter, lest you shimmer and shine for weeks to come).

5) Shitty movies and chocolate – One of my all-time favorites. You can do this in a group or fly solo for the night, but either way you’ll appreciate it. Pour yourself a glass of wine (or shotgun a Keystone), grab some chocolate (I find that Dove works best), and select the absolute most offensive, horrific, worst movie you can find. My personal recommendations: “Sorority Wars,” “Gigli,” “Sugarbabies,” “Pocket Ninjas,” “The Hillz,” “Fat Slags,” “Who’s Your Caddy,” or absolutely anything with Matthew McConaughey.

Chipotle: Coming Soon!

Posted: February 20, 2011 by jerkmag in ZONE -- syracuse
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Chipotle: Coming Soon!

For those who haven’t heard (or those who simply don’t care), the popular restaurant chain Chipotle will open its doors on Marshall Street in April of this year. It will replace King David’s Restaurant, strategically placing it in the center of the strip frequented by many a drunk student.

Fact: Chipotle is delicious.

Fact: The recent opening of a Chipotle location in DeWitt has generated some major buzz and bucks for the company that until very recently was owned by the McDonald’s Corporation.

Fact: Opening a location on the SU campus marks a brilliant marketing move by the company, who clearly understands that Marshall Street is prime real estate in the fast food industry.

Photo Credit: Chipotle—

Aside from drinking to stay warm, most students think that the Syracuse winter doesn’t really foster a lot of opportunities for shenanigans. I would beg to differ. From February 17 through 27, downtown Syracuse as well as various other areas in Onondaga County, will host Winterfest 2011. The event includes activities such as a Martini mix-off, a snowman building competition, and tango dancing. Restaurants in the area and other places such as the Rosamond Gifford Zoo will also have special activities. Visit the official website for a full list of events.

Winter in Syracuse can suck, especially when the city has already surpassed the average annual amount of snow and not everyone has a car on campus. Students constantly complain about their lack of entertainment and then do nothing but drink on the weekends. Get your hungover ass off the damn couch and have some good, clean fun! It won’t kill you, I promise.