Posts Tagged ‘tiger woods’

Jerk of the Week: Tiger Woods Edition

Posted: February 24, 2010 by jerkmagblog in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Tiger Woods made a formal apology and because of that he has jumped up my list and was ranked number one for jerk of the week. ‚ÄúI am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in‚ÄĚ said Woods, during his very long (almost 15 minute speech). Well, Tiger, that‚Äôs great and everything but what you did was still stupid and all I got out of your apology was ‚ÄúI‚Äôm sorry I got caught, and I‚Äôm only giving this speech to salvage what‚Äôs left of my career.”


I probably should be ashamed to say so, but I still can’t get enough of the Tiger Woods drama.¬† I’ve been known to stand in line at the supermarket browsing for the latest scoop¬†(or¬†made up BS, you be the judge)¬†about the whole debacle since his little car accident turned into a major event.

In the spirit of his greatly anticipated press conference/public statement last Friday¬†let’s talk about the most patheticaly¬†exectued public apologies from the past year or so.

1)¬†Governor Sanford: The hiking trip that actually wasn’t, followed by the press conference, the emails and the gracefully pissed off wife.

2) Mark McGwire: Hulk like muscles.  Single season home run leader.  Lying under oath.  Forced apology at the hands of Bob Costas.  At least it got him a job.

3) U.S. Senator Ensign: I’m a family man supporting high morals and family values.¬† Oh wait.

4) Blagojevich: Did he actually apologize?¬† Who cares.¬† It’s all about the hair.

5) New York State Government: New Yorkers are still waiting for the apology.  In the meantime we have this.

~Anne Pomeroy

Are you ready to face the ELIMINATOR!?!?

Are you ready to face the ELIMINATOR!?!?

The major U.S. sports seem¬† just a little dry of late. ¬†Sure, the MLB had Opening Day…but no big news there.¬† Tiger Woods is back to original Tiger-esque form, but who wants to hear another one of my rants about Tiger Woods?¬† Oh, and there’s a new women’s soccer league in the United States, but……yeahhhhh.¬† No, this week I had to dig deep. Sitting at my desk daydreaming about potential stories, I thought back to all the crazy “sports” shows I used to love to watch on TV ‚Äď and they became a worthy topic, in themselves.

You remember American Gladiators, don’t you?¬† I can’t count how many weekend afternoons I wasted watching athletes fight through “The Eliminator” at the end of each episode, only to get slammed in the face with a glorified pillow by huge, perhaps partially brain-damaged muscleheads with nicknames like “Laser” and “Malibu.” ¬†I loved every second. ¬†And who was that crazy announcer?¬† I wonder how he ended up calling episodes of AG, because he sounded like he had the chops for bigger and better things.¬† I smell an episode of “Where Are They Now?” in the making. (more…)

Shaking in their Spikes

Posted: February 27, 2009 by Michael Leess in POP - pop culture
Tags: , , , , ,
Dont worry Tiger, youll see her in a few days.

Don't worry Tiger, you'll see her in a few days.

After arthroscopic knee¬†surgery and months of rehab, Tiger Woods is back on the links this week at the¬†WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship.¬† Let it be noted, first of all, that the eight-month sabbatical Woods took is well over¬†his¬†doctors’ original timeframe for recovery.¬† I can’t say I blame the guy for taking the extra time off, though.¬† Have you seen his wife?¬† I rest my case.

However, it’s¬†hard for me to say¬†that I’m excited to see him return to competition.¬† On one hand, he’s pretty much the Jesus of the golf world.¬† As a (very)¬†amateur golfer myself, and one who spends about 70 percent of my time¬†on the course cussing the ball,¬†my clubs, and my terrible luck,¬†I can appreciate how amazingly consistent Tiger is with a golf club in his hands.¬† Hell, he won this year’s US Open¬†in playoff holes and in¬†comeback fashion ‚Äď all on¬†one leg.