Posts Tagged ‘stealing’

I question humanity sometimes, I really do. Two men in Bowie, Maryland are wanted for stealing money from the Girl Scouts after reportedly asking them how much their cookies were. Seriously? The Girl Scouts? You’re that much of a panzy that you have to go and steal from the Girl Scouts? It would be one thing maybe if you stole from a bunch of Eagle Scouts because at least some of them are adult men, but ten-year-old girls, really?

There’s a group of young Boy Scouts that sell their popcorn in front of my store in the mall who literally guard their cash box with their entire lives. Not to mention, they have a really scary lady troop leader who Chuck Norris might even be afraid of. Perhaps, it should be the goal of every Boy Scout or Girl Scout troop in America not just to sell the best snacks in the country, but also to be lead by scary troop leaders. Did I mention she walks around with a walking stick? Bitch looks crazy, but at least she wards off thieves.

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It took officials six years to catch these thieves. Ronald Mancuso and Sean McGuigan, two Syracuse natives, stole $2.9 million from the city of Syracuse. Instead of simply breaking into a bank, taking the money and bailing, it took these two a little longer to fill their piggy banks. Collecting their loot during the late hours of the night, Mancuso and McGuigan smashed parking meters and collected the coins. Now fighting a lawsuit by the city, Jerk wonders what these two guys were planning on using the money for. Here are a couple ideas we came up with, if we had $2.9 million burning in our pockets:

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