Posts Tagged ‘snooki’

Yes, it’s true. Snooks is an author. Formally known as Nicole Polizzi, star of MTV’s “Jersey Shore,” has translated her guidette lifestyle into a book. The GTL glamorous lifestyle has actually turned into a New York Times bestseller. What are the odds?

Gia and her cousin, Bella, each find a ripped, yummy juicehead to hook up with, but with rivals, frenemies and grenades in the mix, can the two cousins stay close or will the trivialities of the GTL lifestyle tear them apart?

“A Shore Thing” tells the story of two girls looking for summer fun Jersey style: guidos, clubbing and glowing tans. The main character, Giovanna “Gia” Spumanti, is physically indistinguishable from the real-life Snooki, and her best friend Isabella “Bella,” “Bells” or “Hell’s Bells” Rizzoli sounds just like JWoww, another “Jersey Shore” star.  

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Ever watched an episode of Jersey Shore? We all have, don’t deny it. Well, you have just joined Anderson Cooper’s exclusive Ridiculist Club. Last week during a broadcast of AC360°, Cooper went on a rampage against anyone and everyone who has ever paid Snooki to do anything. That includes breathing.

Two weeks ago it was announced that the entire cast of Jersey Shore would now be paid $100,000 per episode. According to Cooper, we are all at fault for this deplorable fact. “If you listen closely, you can hear school teachers around the country weeping right now,” he laments. Shame on us!

While I’m not quite ready to take the blame for Snooki’s pay raise, I am willing to bear some of the brunt for the stupidity of my state (yes, I’m a Jersey girl). It recently came to light that Rutgers, New Jersey’s largest university, will be paying Snooki a whopping $32,000 to speak about the struggles of keeping up the GTL lifestyle, presumably.

Now, universities pay celebrities big bucks to come speak at their schools all the time, so what makes this story such a big deal? Well, the problem here is that Rutgers is also paying Nobel Laureate Toni Morrison to speak at their Commencement in May. However, they are paying her $2000 less than the amount Snooki is receiving.

Cooper rightfully launched an attack against Rutgers in response to this inexcusable insult against Morrison, comparing a quote from The Bluest Eye to a quote from Snooki’s book—if that what’s they’re calling it—A Shore Thing. It’s one thing for youth culture to put Snooki on a pedestal, but it’s an entirely different thing for an institute of higher education to do the same. That is an unforgivably damning message to send to students: one of utter defeat.

Watch Cooper’s attack after the jump:

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TV Fanatic

 

Snooki makes it clear: “It was like trying to stick a watermelon through a pinhole.” Hide your children, she’s talking about the one, the only: Vinny Guadagnino’s penis.

Playgirl offered this hung hunk a whopping 30,000 dollars to pose nude for the magazine, and get a wax mold of his junk for a nationally sold sex toy.

When asked how he initially felt about the offer, Vinny respectfully responded: “Nah, I got my mom.” Isn’t. That. Adorable? Mama Guadagnino wouldn’t be too pleased to find a replica of her son’s genitalia or his naked body in a magazine.

Moral of the story: when in doubt, do the unthinkable. Hook up with a gremlin. You may or may not become an expensive sex toy.

If Vinny does end up turning down the offer, you can still have fun! Playgirl owns Clone-A-Willy, which fellow blogger Jessica mentioned last week. Watch the video on her post; even without Vinny, you can take comfort in a waxy replica of your boyfriend’s business.

~Julia Fuino

This is the crazy amounts of influence tacky, reality show guidos have on our culture. Watch these puppies reenact the famous “Snooki punch” from MTV’s The Jersey Shore.

[via Jezebel]