I must be the only one left in the world who doesn’t know why Justin Bieber is such a big deal. My friends who have graduated are obsessed, the twitter world is obsessed (every minute there are about 285 mentions of him on Twitter — yes, I timed it), and he’s all over the radio and BET (the latter confuses me).
So let’s examine his fine qualities. He is a 16-year-old singer from –ehem– Canada, and he sounds like a girl. *Editor’s note: Bieber is also apparently a moron, as he does not know what the word “German” means. See video below.*
When I first heard one of his songs on the radio, it felt like my ears were bleeding. I seriously thought he was a little girl. This made me wonder what is really going on here. If I thought it was a girl, then I’m thinking others thought he was a girl too. And he’s singing about girls…so basically it’s girl-on-girl action.
And then I begin to wonder…what is his voice going to sound like when he hits puberty full on? I hope he sounds horrible. I know that’s harsh, but he’s getting so much money now that I think his bank account can handle a hit like that.
With all that aside, I am open to your explanations of why he’s so “hot” (please read in a valley girl voice). And despite all of my negativity toward him, I do wish him the best of luck….I guess. I wish I were famous too.
