Posts Tagged ‘pop culture’

We’ve all seen it.  That “Friends” poster, with the cast lovingly sipping milkshakes together, giving you a look that says “Yeah, we can all touch each other’s arms and it’s not weird.”  It seems that their lives are too good to be true! Unfortunately it is too good to be true.  The problem, however, is that we still all want to be able to touch each other’s arms and have it not be weird.  We look around at our group of friends, assigning them the different roles (don’t worry, YOU are Rachel) and dream of dancing around a fountain and velvet sofa in matching white outfits/playful smiles.

Unfortunately “Friends” is a show not too entirely based in reality.

As I watch my peers embark into the horror of the real world with such expectations, I’ve observed that there are a few reasons why we just can’t be “Friends”. So buckle up, for this is fantasy-shattering:

1. People get sick of each other. Who wants to hang out with me all day, every day? I sure don’t! That’s why I go to sleep every night.  Here’s what “Friends” would look like if it were based in reality:

Monica gets a text from Chandler:

“Hey do you guys wanna hang out?”

Monica replies, “Who are you with?”

Chandler says, “Ross and Joey.”

Monica reads it aloud to the girls.  Phoebe and Rachel scrunch up their faces and shake their heads; they aren’t in the mood.  There’s a moan about not having any friends.  The girls go get Chipotle.  The show is cancelled… along with our dreams

The apartments: the huge, beautiful, could-never-afford-at-your-age-and-income apartments.  These two apartments are available AND next to each other? It’s a dream come true!  Except, it actually won’t come true.  What is true, though, is that with the salary of the jobs we’ll get out of college we can recreate “Friends” all we want with our parents because we’ll be living with them! Or in a box… that our parents bought.

2. There will be sex and that’s not just a There Will Be Blood sequel idea.  Three guys. Three girls. Everyone is weirdly too hot.  Soon the coffee shop you deemed your group’s “place” is a hot zone for awkward run-ins accompanied by averted eyes and soft, regretful sighs.

3. Hey, it’s marriage! Oh and look, a child! Wait, you’re under 40? You’re out of the group.

I could discuss how everyone will realize how creepy your Joey friend is or the annoyance of people walking into your apartment unannounced, but I know the wound of these truths is already too deep.  I leave you with a quote from the theme song, “I’ll Be There For You” by the Rembrandts.  Except not really, because I’m changing it so it makes more sense:

“I’ll be there for you! [Sometimes!] When the rain starts to pour [I won’t be there probably, it’s kind of cold outside].”

– Taylor Kowalski

Sup, Jerks! I’m Tess Kornfeld  and I’ll be bringing you the latest on the happenings of pop culture across the land! I am SO pumped to get started, but first let me tell you about myself. 

Major and Year: I am a sophomore and currently undecided (womp) but trying to get into Newhouse to study Magazine Journalism.
Hometown: I come from Scranton, Pennsylvania (yupp, like “The Office”).
Most Embarrassing Moment:  Minutes after getting my wisdom teeth out, I told my twin sister to grow a pair of balls….in front of my mom…. SMOOTH.
Movie I Could Watch Over and Over Again: I am a huge romantic comedy buff so I could watch “When Harry Met Sally” over and over again and STILL laugh at the cheesy jokes.
    
Now do two things: follow me on twitter: @tenacioustess and please subscribe to my personal blog for more coverage on the most up to date coverage of the latest celeb gossip. Contact me with suggestions, comments or snarky remarks at any time!
** If you’re interested in becoming a Jerk Blogger, contact us at jerkmagblog@gmail.com

Taylor Swift, I don’t even know where to start. I used to love you. Yes, shamefully I was just as obsessed with T. Swift like every other teenage girl. The problem is, that I grew up and Swift has remained the same. While I can still jam out to “Teardrops On My Guitar,” I’m tired of her same old routine.

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Hot mama, Jennifer Anniston looks like she's doing well post-Brangelina drama.

Hot mama, Jennifer Anniston looks like she's doing well post-Brangelina drama.

Think back to early 2005, the world had just learned that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were breaking up. I remember being absolutely shocked, if they couldn’t make it, then who could? Then remember the tabloid speculation that Brad was having an affair with his Mr. and Mrs. Smith co-star Angelina Jolie? Well, that turned out to be true. Brad dumped Jen, they got divorced, and now 6 children with Angelina later, the media is still watching all 3 actors with rapt attention.

Walking past the magazines by the checkout at the supermarket, I couldn’t help but notice how many covers are still devoted to this “love triangle”, 5 years later. Poor Jen, if I were her, I’d be more than pissed by all the attention. Why is she constantly portrayed as this old maid who it still pining over Brad and is incapable of having a functional relationship with other man. She’s supposedly been clingy and jealous in all her relationships since Brad.  And then, everyone read heavily into her post- Brad movie choices, movies with titles like The Break-Up and He’s Just Not That Into You. Ouch, poor pitiful Jen.

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I would like to name Tila Tequila the ultimate spotlight whore.

I tend to loathe reality TV stars, but she is an exception. She is entertaining because she’s a cute little Asian who likes penis and vagina, but she is an enigma full of contradictions. I tried following her on Twitter for a while, but that stopped after about 5 hours when my timeline was full of all caps messages screaming about her love of her baby, her new music prodigy, and her love of her deceased partner.

She is addicting, but annoying at the same time. So, if you haven’t been reading your tabloids or watching E news, here a brief overview of how this bi- female is the greatest spotlight whore:

1. On September 6th, she was allegedly choked by her boyfriend Shawn Merriman while she may or may not have been drunk. In the case file it said she was allergic to alcohol, but then that was denied. Who fakes an alcohol allergy? That would be tragic. She decided to not press charges and then in November, she filed a lawsuit for $1.5 million. He then filed suits against her. (more…)