Posts Tagged ‘pat benatar’

Which ass is the WORLD'S BIGGEST DOUCHE?

This week, John Mayer and Rob Pattinson both gave interviews, to Playboy and Details respectively. After reading both of the articles and following the responses to them, I am left wondering which pasty un-sexy asswipe is the biggest DOUCHE. So welcome to the Jerk Blog’s first Douche-off.

The Contestants:
John Mayer – Slammin’ guitarist known as the next Eric Clapton and for being a giant turd.

Rob Pattinson – Actor yet to reach his potential (we’re hoping Remember Me won’t be too bad), though he’s downgraded from hot Cedric in Harry Potter to creepy, effeminate Edward in Twilight.

Forum: Magazine Interviews, of which I’ve dissected and assembled to create a debate between Mayer and R-Patz:

John Mayer: I really said, “I now make the choice to sleep with Jessica Simpson.”… That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me…Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. (+4 douche points, you really are the worst ex-boyfriend ever).

R Patz: The only emotional connection of relevance is with my dog. (+5 douche points, self-explanatory) (more…)