Posts Tagged ‘Julia Fuino’

Forgive me for crying about it, but I’m a senior. While most students at schools aside from Syracuse countdown the days for their college careers to be over, we at Syracuse would rather become super seniors, super duper seniors, and if somehow we had the chance to take Chancy Nancy’s job — we’d be cool with that too. It’s a place so close and dear to our hearts, that the idea of giving it up makes us want to start the whole thing over again, even if that means having to be the sloppy freshman we once were, whose drink of choice was a warm Keystone from that frat house we hopefully grew out of come sophomore year.

So, in the spirit of my senior status, and having lived the most interesting, fun, and life changing four years I ever could have imagined, I think it’s only appropriate to give all of you incoming freshmen the low-down on what you can expect from this next chapter.

1. Freshmen Floor Friends These are the people you meet the first day you get to campus. Whether or not you even like your roommate (which you typically  find out either right away, or after a few nights out), the people you come to know that first year will wind up being your “college friends”, regardless of the activities and clubs you join, or the sororities and fraternities you will call home. You travel in herds of five or more to the party at that shaddy off-campus fraternity and house party you’re forced to reckon with having not yet joined a house. And before even going to these parties, you sit and debate whether or not you can even get in, given your guy to girl ratio is a little off. You study together in your floor lounge on Tuesday nights when upperclassmen are at the bars. You have late nights in when you realize your fake ID wouldn’t even be able to get you a margarita at Chipotle. These people might not be like any friend you’d immediately choose for yourself, but that’s the beauty of the freshmen dorms. You’re placed face to face with unfamiliar territory.

2. The Professor Who Makes You Think Just like at any level of schooling, you have teachers you love, and teachers you wish to never take a class with for as long as you live.  But once you meet that one professor, they’ll take your brain on a power-trip, throw everything you once thought upside down, and make you re-think more than you ever thought you could. The whole “makes you think”, could mean anything from re-thinking your thoughts on controversial issues, to your future career goals, to  a whole new way of thinking about anything and everything. It’s the professor that will consistently ask you the question “why”. A change in thought process and new ideas could immediately cause you to put yourself on that “I’m in college now”, pedestal. You might call your parents, share your new knowledge, talk down to them a little bit, feel yourself getting kind of cocky, and count down the days til your next class to feel another wave of inspiration. You might also be that asshole that posts it all on facebook. But, regardless of how much of an ass you look like, something inside you changes. You might even feel as inspired as to put together a blog on wordpress and “call it Julia”. Who knows.

3. The Short-lived Romance This is typical for any college student. Disclaimer: Don’t expect to meet your knight in shining armor at a frat house – because those are just tools in tin foil. But, every now and then, expect to hook-up (whatever your definition of that may be, and with whoever that might be). You never know — one of these days, one thing will lead to another, and you might find yourself in a slight step above inebriated foreplay. Meaning, you could very well see this person when the sun is up, spend a lot of time together, watch a movie together one night, and text on more than just Thursday nights. These are always fun, and will make you feel on top of the world for as long as they last. But, don’t beat yourself up when it doesn’t work out, and god bless ya if it does. A huge reason that they don’t work out, is because college years are crucial changing years. You will not be the same person you once were as a freshman. As the years go on, once you’re involved in more things on campus and get a grasp on things, you’re finally able to better balance work, school, activities, and maybe a relationship. Don’t rush it.

4. Your Abroad Friends Of course this only works out if you go abroad, these are people that will have shared with you something no one else on campus can say they have. You have this unspoken bond about the places you’ve been thousands of miles away from home. It’s these people that share your love of “Ai Se Eu Ti Pego”, European men wanting your children, wine for three euro, nutella gelato, and never being able to understand your host family. Okay, so I’ve listed a few things you’ll never relate to. GO ABROAD.

5. The “We’re in College” Guy: I say guy, but I really mean guy or girl. This is the stereotypical embodiment of that very person you’re warned to stay away from if you ever want to graduate on time. This is the person that says absurd things like “Yolo”, while weighing eighty five pounds and drinking a bottle of Barton’s by themselves. This is the “example” for everyone in the friend group of who not to be, and what not to act like. It’s the girl you always lose at a party, and the guy that winds up naked by the dorm elevators, not quite making it back to his room…ever. It’s probably the same girl wearing a tutu on a Sunday night outside my room right now screaming things like “I DON’T EVEN FUCKING CARE YO”. It’s these people I urge you to meet. If you don’t, you’re most likely one of them.

— Julia Fuino

I decided to write this while on a date from hell at my local Starbucks. Yeah boys, this is what happens when you’re about as entertaining as my left toe. So naturally as a woman, my mind began to wander into thinking about anything and everything that had absolutely nothing to do with my date. Things like… “What am I going to do tonight?” “I wonder what Grandma’s doing.” And in this case, “Why did he just order a hot chocolate with whipped cream and sprinkles?”

Call it judgmental, but this was just the icing on the cake, or, “sprinkles on the whipped cream”, if you will. But between his talking about his love for Nickelback, his obscene potty mouth, or his current alcoholism, nothing he could have said or done at this point was doing a good job at convincing me that he’d be getting a second date anytime soon/ever.

This date with Mr. Wonderful, along with my working knowledge of Starbucks customers given my part-time job background, led me to believe that what you order from Starbucks might say a lot about who you are. So, let’s start with Mr. Wonderful and his super duper hot chocolate.

Let me first start off by saying that at any age, it is always acceptable to order a hot chocolate. Who doesn’t love a nice warm drink on a cold winter’s night? But as a twenty-three year old college graduate, you should never specifically ask for additional whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles — especially on a first date. Everyone loves a sensitive guy — but my idea of ‘sensitive’ is loving John Mayerand your niece, not fluffy white cream and sprinkles. But enough about Mr. Wonderful, whose actual name will go unmentioned, let’s talk about why you clicked this link in the first place. You want to know what your drink says about you.

So without further adieu, here it is:

If you’re ordering a frappuccino, you’re most likely a teenage girl “shopping” in the mall with your teenage friends with your phone more expensive than mine and a 20 dollar bill you most likely got from a birthday card. The thought of getting anything from Starbucks intrigues you, makes you feel older, and even though this drink comes cooled, to you, it just isn’t complete without the sleeve. You might even be on a date, and he might be ordering a frappuccino too, because you both have had frappes at Mcdonalds, so you obviously know what you’re ordering. Not to mention, the word “frappuccino” just sounds so much more sophisticated than plain old coffee. So what better way to impress your brace-faced 15 year old date than ordering a tall caramel frappuccino? You gracefully whip out your self-perceived abundant knowledge of the world of coffee, and in doing so get serious street cred at junior high. It’s literally the  equivalent to the adult date at a french restaurant where you impress your girl by ordering everything in perfect french, even if all you know is creme brulee and escargot. Coffee gurus don’t order frappuccinos — unless it happens to be a 100 degree day and they somehow ran out of iced lattes with a bunch of specifications.

Caramel Macchiatos: Men, for whatever reason, are more likely to order these bad boys – and I use the term “bad boys” very loosely. Maybe it’s the soft and buttery vanilla flavoring, or the espresso shot that sits comfortably atop the warm white froth, or maybe it’s that super masculine cross-hatch patterned caramel swirl we baristas craft before your very eyes. Or, maybe it’s just the baristas. Whatever the reason, men seem to order these more than you’d think. Maybe it’s because men happen to be the customers that typically have no idea how to order to begin with. I can see where it could get confusing, being “stupid in three different languages,” we at Starbucks just live to make your life more complicated. You see, at Starbucks, a tall is small, a grande is medium, and a venti is the largest. Is your mind officially blown? There are a lot of steps in the ordering process. So what usually happens, is a customer sees “Caramel Macchiato” on the menu board, and because it sounds fancy, has the word caramel in it, and is yours for just 3.95, they proceed to order, calling it a “Caramel Ma-chh-ee-to”

Venti Dirty Chai Tea Soy No Whip 120 degrees + Sugar Free Vanilla, which on the cup, looks like this: VCSNW120SFV2+, but more so in a vertical fashion. This customer is an asshole. I happen to be this customer. Get my drink wrong, and I will cut you. Okay, not really. But these are the customers that know what they’re talking about. They are specific, and they want their barista to be just as specific, while simultaneously admiring them for their impeccable knowledge of the customization possibilities available to them because Starbucks is just that awesome. What’s not so awesome – is when they pronounce “Chai Tea” as “Tai Chi”. Bitch, does this liquid drink look like a martial art to you? Didn’t think so.

Black Coffee or Americano: Nothing says “manly man” like a tall, grande, venti whatever sized black coffee or Americano (espresso and hot water). You could probably order a “ballerina” sized black coffee as a man and still have the sex appeal of a tattooed grecian god. This drink says that you’re a simple guy who knows what he wants, and isn’t dumb enough to spend more than $2.11 on a cup of Joe. It also indicates that you have a job. Because no ‘basement xbox playing parents’ house living gamerfreak with an internet girlfriend’ is going to be ordering a black coffee. These weirdos get their caffeine from sugary energy drinks with glittery cans, or come to Starbucks and order a Mountain Dew.

Passion, Green or Black Tea: Ordering a tea indicates that you are in fact female, and you don’t like coffee in any way shape or form — but even you need a cup with the naked mermaid green logo on it.

Iced Sugar Free Vanilla Latte: This is the health conscious soccer mom who hasn’t eaten since the 90s, the Julia (yeah that’s me — but I will never be a soccer mom/eating is a hobby), and the typical college sorority girl who is back the second time today after already ordering her Venti Iced Coffee. It’s a drink fit for Lauren Conrad, and  a great go-to choice when you know you want caffeine, but are overwhelmed by the plethora of flavors and combinations provided for you. This is the drink that says “I just got out of spinning class, and now I’m going to real class.” Even if this drink came hot, the girl who ordered this will STILL stick a straw through the top.

Cappuccino: This one goes either way. The person that orders a cappuccino is on one extreme side of the spectrum or the other. You’re either educated and know that a cappuccino means espresso and froth, or you’re the sloppy piece of white trash who’s going to order this blindly, storm right back and say “this is not what I ordered.” How about you waddle yourself back to the McDonald’s you came from and settle for your coffee with heavy whipping cream and small fry.

Breve: It sounds fancy, but it’s just a big word that means “half and half.”Adding breve to your latte means that rather than regular milk in your 20 ounce coffee, you’re getting 18 ounces of steamed half and half and 2 ounces of espresso. The person who orders a breve typically has no idea what goes into their drink, but thoroughly enjoys the taste and thickness of the extra fat.

Julia Fuino

“You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.”

The holidays are quickly approaching, and college students everywhere are trying to lose the weight they gained from Ramen, booze and Kimmel. The last thing anyone wants to do is have to go home and run into an ex being fifteen or so pounds heavier than the last time he or she saw you. So to help everyone who has gained the freshman 15–even those of you who aren’t freshmen–I’ve compiled a short little list of bizarre weight loss solutions you won’t find in the magazines to help you on your dieting journey.

The Color BLUE:

I know it sounds crazy, but it has been proven time and time again that blue isn’t just an awesomely bad Eiffel 65 song, but also a bizarre weight-loss solution. The color actually functions as a diet suppressant. I mean, when was the last time you saw the color blue in a fast food restaurant? The colors mostly associated with food, according to an Indiana University research study, are orange and yellow, while blue is said to be the least affective color for food promotion.

So, if you aren’t into diet pills, or whatever else the Kardashian family is endorsing these days, and you want to lose weight the natural way–along with exercise and proper diet–diet experts suggest supplementing the color blue into your eating habits. You can do this just by eating your food off a blue plate. If you’re really serious about you weight loss, some diet experts also suggest looking into a blue light for your refrigerator.

Also important to keep in mind: calories come in liquid form too. For tips on what Friday night drinks to avoid, click here.


You’ve got the dress, the invitations, the church, the venue, table settings and the sexy husband to match. Everything for your dream wedding is planned and paid for. The only major setback? Allowing that future hubby who enjoys hunting in his spare time to pick out the cake without first consulting you. Introducing: Cake Wrecks.

Cake Wrecks is a blog about cakes for any occasion that for some reason are made in poor taste. For example, a baby cake with babies riding carrot penises. The blog was created by a woman named Jen in May 2008. When she noticed how popular her blog was getting, she decided to write a book–where she promises even more baking atrocities.

A friend at the café I work at introduced me to the blog after I baked her a penis cake for her bachelorette party. I’d like to think the cake turned out beautifully, but she obviously thought otherwise. (She’s very conservative. Oops.) But what’s a bachelorette party without a penis cake?

-Julia Fuino

This video is probably every girl’s worst nightmare. It’s bad enough having to walk home in the same clothes you had on the night before, but to have an entire frat applaud you and last night’s man as you leave the premises is taking walk of shame to a whole new level.

Whether or not you find yourself sympathizing with the girl in the video and photo, you might want to take some pointers. According to a 2010 University of Iowa study on casual sex, results are proving that casual sex relationships often lead to long-lasting relationships. Yeah, you read that right. I found it crazy to believe myself.


I’ve caught myself lately tuning into “Millionaire Matchmaker,” a show on Bravo that does exactly what the title suggests. Mere mortals like myself, who have a lot less than a million dollars to their name, are given the opportunity to be hooked up with millionaires, who for some reason couldn’t find love for themselves. But I guess when you happen to be CEO of a multimillion dollar corporation, anything more than a one night stand isn’t exactly something you have at the top of your wish list.

As much as I make the show my guilty pleasure, I’m no idiot. I know that the concept is disgustingly shallow. There is no way a person would sign themselves up to be a potential boyfriend or girlfriend to these millionaires if all of they had to rely on was their looks. Why? Because while half of them are actually atrocious, most have dry personalities and some are complete train wrecks. And speaking of train wrecks, meet Robin. (Scroll to :40)


Carousel Mall made headlines on Black Friday after a girlfight ensued during the midnight opening of Victoria’s Secret. Neither I nor my co-workers know exactly what caused the fight, but it has definitely made for a quality YouTube video. So thank you, to whoever it was that happened to be the innocent bystander to the atrocity that you see here in this video.

This further proves my point that Black Friday is not only worthless, but is a fight just waiting to happen. There is so much tension, chaos and competition to be the first one in the stores that Black Friday has even proven to be life-threatening. It’s not just Wal-Mart dealing with the crazies anymore. The Black Friday dangers have carried into your local lingerie store. But really, all this for a $5 for $26 panties deal? Ladies, come on now.

Our “sales” lasted the entire day long. There was no reason for the mile-long line that wrapped around the mall of shoppers looking to get into our store, or any store. (Unless it happened to be called Best Buy because then it would be understandable.)

Here is both my suggestion, and future business plan:  I will take part in next year’s Black Friday as a consumer, rather than an associate. I will wait in line starting two days beforehand. I will be one of the first people in line, waiting for that shiny new plasma screen TV. Then, just as the store is about to open, I will sell my spot to the highest bidder. Or, just get the damn TV and take a hammer to it in front of everyone.

-Julia Fuino

While it may be true that your waistline falls victim to your drunken Thursday-Sunday nights, did you know that beer has the power to actually lower your risk of cardiovascular disease? Studies have shown that one beer per day reduces blood clotting in cardiovascular patients. The patients who participated in this study not only got to enjoy one beer per day, but also lived longer than patients who abstained. Beer has been proven to have constituents in it that actually lower triglycerides and LDL-cholesterol. (The bad cholesterol.)

So, when you find yourself caught deciding between Honey Nut Cheerios and a cold brew, you can now justify your so-called “poor” health habits intelligently.
According to, the moderate consumption can have “hearth healthy effects, including making men 30-35% less likely of ever having a heart attack than those who abstain.”

Curious about the nutrition facts of beer? According to the USDA National Nutrient Database, one 12-ounce serving of regular beer has the following nutrients:


I question humanity sometimes, I really do. Two men in Bowie, Maryland are wanted for stealing money from the Girl Scouts after reportedly asking them how much their cookies were. Seriously? The Girl Scouts? You’re that much of a panzy that you have to go and steal from the Girl Scouts? It would be one thing maybe if you stole from a bunch of Eagle Scouts because at least some of them are adult men, but ten-year-old girls, really?

There’s a group of young Boy Scouts that sell their popcorn in front of my store in the mall who literally guard their cash box with their entire lives. Not to mention, they have a really scary lady troop leader who Chuck Norris might even be afraid of. Perhaps, it should be the goal of every Boy Scout or Girl Scout troop in America not just to sell the best snacks in the country, but also to be lead by scary troop leaders. Did I mention she walks around with a walking stick? Bitch looks crazy, but at least she wards off thieves.