Posts Tagged ‘Hump Day’

  • So over fantasizing. GIVE ME SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT, DAMMIT!

    So over fantasizing. GIVE ME SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT, DAMMIT!

    You’re so bored with everything on SpankWire that you’ve actually considered watching the Brother-Sister cams.

  • Amateur music videos in your film production class turn you on.
  • You dry hump your pillow.
  • You stop smoking weed because it just makes you horny.
  • You start thinking “I wonder how he’d be in bed…” about every single male you encounter.
  • You can’t even LOOK at guys wearing tight pants. Or sweatpants. Or any pants. In fact, you can’t even look at a guy below the waist without imagining his cock in your mouth.
  • You feel stupid wearing your sexy underwear – what’s the point?
  • You start keeping your vibrator in your pillowcase for easy access.
  • Looking at your lonely condom stash makes you want to cry.
  • Putting in a tampon feels kind of good.

Please go get laid, and think of me while you’re at it.

~Farrah Moans

Hey. I’m Farrah Moans and I like sex. Having it, talking about it, talking about having it. I’m basically not afraid to Go There. Except I draw my line at anime porn, that’s just fucked up.

My boyfriend is abroad this semester (yeah, I’m dying), and my first thought was not, “Oh what will I do without you by my side for months?” It was, “Oh cool, I’ve never had phone sex before.”

Some initial complications with losing my phone sex virginity: Roommates. They are always home when I’m in the mood to talk dirty. Also, his phone is a piece of shit. See example: (more…)