Posts Tagged ‘hook ups’

My roommates and I are having this talk right now, debating back and forth whether the infamous “walk of shame” should be just that.

Many college students are far from “shameful” in their sexcapades. We tweet about them, brag about them, and talk in the most public of campus environments about how we walked home shirtless at sun up. So why, if we don’t feel shame in having such a night, is the return home from that night the “walk of shame”?

More times than not it is the girls doing the walk. Or rather, more times than not the girls’ walk of shame that is obvious and taken note of. She stumbles up to Watson, heels in hand, wearing an oversized Nike Athletics shirt with her make up still on from last night and her hair messy at best, anytime between six am and high noon, and its obvious she didn’t spend the night at Club Bird or staying at a girl friends house. She is finally arriving back from her “walk of shame”. But oftentimes we girls are not quickly pacing with their eyes cast downward but casually strolling home, scrolling on our iPhones through pictures we took the night before and thanking the Gods above our mouths don’t taste like morning. So is it a walk of shame? If we are nonchalant about or now semi-public sex lives, or the obviousness of our bed head and sex stench.

Or is it a stride of pride? That we are not ashamed at all of fooling around somewhere on Sumner last night or spending a night at the frat house that you are almost thankful you don’t remember. But instead are proud.

I have heard it said more times than one that the title “walk of shame” will undoubtedly stick, regardless of whether or not people are actually shameful of their 10 am stumble home. But many campus dwellers now are pushing to refer to it as the stride of pride, that it is a symbol you got lucky last night and should be regarded as a prideful matter. I see the walk differently each time, and the true distinguishing point between a walk of shame and a stride of pride should be the person’s emotional state during the walk. To the bitches who stroll home laughingly and cannot wait to tell their roommates what a slut they were last night – pride.

What are your thoughts fellow hornballs?

-Deanna Viel

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Each Sunday, some of our proud, intelligent, scholarly Syracuse students are seen doing the annual walk of shame. Now don’t deny it, we’ve all done it or will do it at some point, but on the bright side, we most likely won’t see the person or remember the dude the next day. Well unless you’re “Annie.”

Annie, the typical Syracuse girl with a Northface and Longchamp bag, is a good friend of mine and until I met her, I always thought that the awkward walk of shames were terrible.

Annie has a type of hilarious luck that I can’t pin point, but whenever it happens she calls it, “God’s Comedy Show.” Now, to explain Annie’s hilarious run-ins, it’s not the casual one run-in incident your thinking of, oh no. Annie had hooked up with less than about six guys on campus the whole year, but yet, on a regular day she would run into them about two to three times and it would be worse each time.

After meeting Annie, I realized that those run-ins, though memorable, are better just avoided.  In honor of these run-ins, Annie and I have made five simple rules that will help you avoid or handle these impromptu moments of awkwardness and keeping your dignity:

RULE #1: “Just wear a paper bag over your head.”- If wearing a paper bag over your head, cut holes so you don’t look too weird, then if about to hookup, the hookup will never see your face and you’re in luck.

RULE #2: “Be as casual as possible”: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT point, laugh, run, scream, “OH SHIT,” when you are around the hookup’s presence.

RULE #3: “Act as though they don’t exist”: Example A: HOOKUP: “Oh hey Annie, remember me? We fucked.”  Annie: “Who are you? I don’t know, you’re invisible.”

RULE #4: “The earlier the better”: The second it hits dawn, get your ass out of that house so you both can forget what you guys looked like. This is where that old saying, “don’t look down” comes in handy.

RULE #5: “Have a sense of humor about it, cause let’s be honest it’s funny…but sad.” Laugh about it in your head, this is college. To help this process, simply and softly just say to yourself, “YOLO!”

-Lakota Gambill