Posts Tagged ‘Drunk’

Words o’ Wisdom: Hemingway Edition

Posted: November 16, 2011 by jerkmag in WORDS O' WISDOM
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“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” – Ernest Hemingway

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Careful, too much of this or you'll have a hang over the next day.

Careful, too much of this or you'll have a hang over the next day.

Most weekends on college campuses consist of drunken antics and inebriated decision making. According to Emily Kaiser’s blog post on citypages.com, people are now getting drunk off of hand sanitizer. Seriously.

Apparently children are swallowing enough of this stuff to get legally drunk. There are some serious issues that arise out of this–the fear of poisoning being the main concern. Aside from these “sober” issues, it’s pretty messed up that these kids are even capable of getting their hands on enough Purell to intoxicate themselves.

If you think about it, it’s pretty funny. As long as it’s not happening to you.

Call poison control if you’re in need of some further assistance: 1-800-222-1222.

~Krystie Yandoli

Hey Mom, Today I Made a New Friend!

Posted: March 17, 2009 by Nancy Mucciarone in Uncategorized
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This may be one of the best days ever. Absolut Vodka wants to be my friend. And your friend. And the homeless man on Marshall Street’s friend. And your booty call who refuses to speak to you during day time hours’ friend. And your waste-case of a friend who gets drunk at Harry’s and then flirts with older men’s friend. One of the most successful and famous brands of vodka wants to be buddy-buddy with all of us. I feel so cool, it’s like Chuck Norris just friended me on Facebook.

Just last week, Absolut Vodka launched its “Recognize the Moment” campaign, which motivates drinkers (21 plus, of course) to recognize when it’s time to say no to another drink, driving home, or texting your ex-boyfriend to tell him you’re still in love with him. They also want party goers to say “YES!” (fist pump) to drinking in a responsible way.

The online campaign includes videos of vodka drinkers talking about their views on responsible drinking, information on people’s tolerances and the effects of alcohol, and, my personal favorite, “Text the Moment.” Through Text the Moment, anyone can arrange Absolut to send them a text message at a specific time telling them any specific message. Basically, Absolut wants to be THAT friend that tears you off of the bar, tells you to put your clothes back on, and insists that you get a sober driver home.

While this is a good idea in theory, I have to wonder how well it will actually work on a campus like Syracuse. This is how I picture it going down: (more…)

Hostel Horrors

Posted: February 25, 2009 by Katie in Uncategorized
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An advertisement in Amsterdam, with some obvious editing

An advertisement in Amsterdam, with some obvious editing

I arrived in Amsterdam this weekend after a bitchingly early flight, eager to take a nap in my hostel. After what seemed like decades of wrong turns, we finally found the Marnix Hostel. The entire building was covered in white plastic and scaffolding. Not exactly the warm Dutch welcome I had hoped for.

Turns out, we weren’t in the 6-person room we booked after all. We slept in a glorified cubicle and shared a basement room with 50 other people. The “walls” were only 6 feet high, and the gap between that and the ceiling was merely covered with a thin layer of mesh. We could hear everything. If someone sneezed, or more often, farted down the hall, we were the first to hear it. Joy. Worse still, everybody’s room key could open any door. (more…)

At Least These Students Didn’t Get Botched Implants…

Posted: February 16, 2009 by Nancy Mucciarone in Uncategorized
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Has anyone else been wondering where all the pictures of uneven boobs and saggy stomachs have been on PerezHilton.com lately? Apparently the reason behind this madness is because drunkard Tara Reid has been cooped up for 60 days in rehab at Promise’s in Malibu (how many times has she been in rehab??) and is “finally clean.” Yeah….right.

Tara Reid Extreme Nip SlipClick here for funny video clips

While the worst thing Tara has ever done while intoxicated is flash her cellulite-y ass to on looking paparazzi and have a nip-slip on the red carpet in front of multiple TV cameras, Syracuse students have not been so lucky. In fact, in the past weekend alone (that’s only three days), I’ve witnessed or heard about some pretty crazy shit that’s happened to the inebriated students. So here it is, kids: my list of the three funniest drunk moments of the weekend. Laugh at them, turn red with embarrassment, tell your grandchildren… just please don’t try them at home. (more…)