Posts Tagged ‘Cindia Gonzalez’

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Sigourney knows how to hibernate and still stay thin.

The weather is finally getting warmer here in Syracuse, NY and I love it. After so many winter months freezing my ass off, I feel like this is my time. Now some may be lead to believe that you should really workout hard during the winter months to get your body ready for “bikini weather,” but I think that’s bullshit.

When it started getting colder I couldn’t think of doing anything but staying in, eating, and sleeping under several blankets. It was like my own hibernation period and I have the blubber to prove it. Now that the weather is finally warming up I actually feel motivated to get outside and do something.

With the sun calling I have to decide what sport/activity I’m going to take up. I hate the gym, you probably knew that. The gym to me feels like a waste of time. You stay inside with all these people who are obsessed with going to the gym. They are all already thin/fit, fuckers. Plus I’m not going into the gym until I buy some sexy workout clothes. A friend of mine just told me that she lost 9 pounds swimming but I don’t do laps. So what do I do?  Well, I only want to play sports that make me look cool.

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Jeff Daniels looking like a douche bag.

After watching indie flicks like The Royal Tenenbaums and The Squid and The Whale , I’ve decided that tennis is really fucking cool. Think about it. Everyone wants to look like a douche bag slacker these days and nothing says douche bag like playing tennis. All the kids are doing it and I want in.

Another sport I’ve deemed cool/hot is bowling. I know what you are thinking, old people, but actually bowling can be pretty intense. You have to lug around a 10+ pound ball, unless you are pussy/bitch, and actually be coordinated enough to hit something other than onlookers.  Tough.

Other sports that I could take up that seem low-impact/hipster cool are cricket, golf, ping-pong. The list just goes on and on.

– Cindia Gonzalez

Master Cleanse, Master Shit

Posted: April 11, 2009 by Cindia G. Leonard in Uncategorized
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A couple of weeks ago a close friend of mine decided that we should do a master cleanse together.  This decision came after we had shamelessly gone to a chinese buffet twice in one week.  Now what I love about my friend, and admire in myself,  is the fact that he and I aren’t afraid of eating really big.

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Here are just a few ingredients you'll need for the cleanse, like laxative tea.

For those who don’t know, the master cleanse is a kind of fast you go on for 10 to 40 days.  You eat and drink nothing except for this strange lemonade.  The ingredients in this lemonade include cayenne pepper and maple syrup.  Doing the diet isn’t too complicated, if you don’t count the laxative tea and giving yourself enemas by drinking gallons of warm salt water. (more…)

They Put Crack In These Doughnuts

Posted: March 19, 2009 by Cindia G. Leonard in Uncategorized
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Hot. Now.

Last week was spring break and I took a trip to North Carolina with my boyfriend, Zach, and our friend Justin.  The trip was really an excuse to eat all the foods from back home that we really miss.  In the last post I kind of slammed the cuisine in Syracuse, NY.  In my opinion it sucks and there is no variety.

In North Carolina we stuffed our faces with food from all over, especially Hispanic and Indian food and home-style cooking.  It was awesome.  The thing that really turned me out was tasting those sweet little doughnuts from Krispy Kreme.

I know what doughnuts most people eat in Syracuse, fucking Dunkin’ Donuts.  I mean, I guess when you don’t know any better you’ll eat any ol’ shit.  I just want you guys to know that Krispy Kreme is where it’s at.  They put crack in those doughnuts and it is so delicious.

Let me tell you about some Krispy Kreme.  See they have this big sign that lights up when they start making doughnuts.  It reads “Hot Now.”  That’s how you know the shit is on.  I equate seeing the “Hot Now” sign to when the Three Wise Men were traveling through the desert and were lost until they saw the North Star shining bright.  The sign is like that beacon of hope, leading the blind to sweet salvation.  It’s a religious experience. (more…)

This week is spring break at Syracuse University and across the country several other schools are on break. Many folks take this opportunity to go on a little vacation. After all the wintry weather in Syracuse and lake effect snows I had to go on vacation. The boyfriend and I decided that we were going to take a trip down to North Carolina.

Now my boyfriend (his name is Zach) is orginally from NC. He’s never lived in any other state. I, on the other hand, am a military brat. NC is not my homestate and I really don’t have a hometown either but after living in Winston-Salem for around 5 years it’s the closest I’ve got. All my friends live there and I went to undergrad there. I just have strong feelings for the little town.

Anyways the trip was half an excuse to get the hell out of the cold and the other half to visit family and friends we’ve been missing like crazy. Now listen, again I don’t want to offend, but Syracuse is a miserable town. I know some of my classmates who are from Syracuse and actually like it there, even love it, but Zach and I can’t stand it. Part of that reason is the food. (more…)

Tears in Heaven

Posted: March 5, 2009 by Cindia G. Leonard in Uncategorized
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I’ve been pretty calm about this whole weight gain thing for a while now.  I wasn’t going to freak out about it because like I’ve said before, I’ve always been a big girl.  I’ve worn sizes from 11 up to 18.  I know the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to being a fatty.

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Little Nicole Richie knows how to pull off that skeletal look.

But don’t let the media fool you.  There is no perfect size, no perfect weight. And those height/weight tables are ludicrous.  If it was up to that thing at my height, 5’2″, I should weigh something like 100 lbs. 100 lbs.! You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. With my frame and these hips, I would probably look like a Holocaust victim.

So I’ve kind of gotten over the whole being “the right size.”  I know that my body would look the best if I weighed between 155 and 165.  But I don’t weigh that anymore. Thanks to my bad habits, and maybe the hormones in birth control, I’m dangerously close to 200 lbs., way too fucking close.

What drives me insane about the weight I’ve gained is that I’ve been fatter.  Maybe not this close to weighing 200 lbs. but a size 18 ain’t tiny.  My clothes still fit, although a little tight.   (more…)

I Hate Fat Girls

Posted: February 26, 2009 by Cindia G. Leonard in Uncategorized
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Look, I don’t really hate fat girls.  How do you hate what you are? 

What I hate is when you go shopping and all the good sizes are taken.  What I mean is that all the sizes 12 and up are M.I.A.  Where the hell do they go? 

I’ll tell you where they go…  All the fat girls come and take all the fucking good sizes and then nice girls like me can’t find anything to wear.  It happens every time I go shopping.  It’s always something I really want, like a cute shirt, and it never fucking fails.   (more…)

Leotards: The only motivation in my life

Posted: February 19, 2009 by Cindia G. Leonard in Uncategorized
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I’m obsessed with American Apparel.

After so many months drooling over their crap on the internet I finally got a chance to shop in their store.  Online the clothes always looked too small for me.  If I could just try it on in person then I would know if my fat ass could actually squeeze into the “intimates” and “one-pieces.”

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Sex. Sex. Sex.

Surprise, surprise.  I only barely fit into their largest size, XL.  Most of the clothes at AA don’t even go up to a size L.  I’m lucky they were sweet enough to consider me.  I squeeze into this leotard, asphalt grey, and look pretty fucking hot.  It’s tight enough to keep everything in its place and my boobs are small enough to not have to worry about the bra situation.

Six months later, thanks to the anxiety of grad school, my ass is totally busting out of my leotard.  My other clothes, that weren’t bought at AA, barely fit on my newer, slightly fatter, body.

I’m sure the idea of loosing 10+ lbs. to anyone else would seem an incredible feat.  But I have no discipline and I love to eat.

I’ve been fat all my life.  I’m always straddling the line between obese and just overweight.  I’ve kind of stopped caring about it but when you are already considered fat by most people in the world and then you gain a couple extra,well, it isn’t cute.  (more…)