Posts Tagged ‘cake’

I’ma Bake You a Cake

Posted: July 7, 2012 by jerkmag in VAULT -- archives
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It seems like somebody’s birthday is every other day this time of year. If I were rich (and not paying Syracuse tuition) I would love to go out and buy everybody a special gift. My wallet though, doesn’t think this is such a great idea. It is also embarrassing to pay for everything with tip money. I once counted out over $30 in one dollar bills and not surprisingly got some pretty nasty glares from the people in line behind me.

Instead of just buying a Wal-Mart card with a corny joke about how I am too cheap to buy a gift, I’ve decided to aim for people’s sweet tooth and not spend a dime. I do put some thought into it, though.

Exhibit A: My sister the Nutella nut.

She literally keeps a jar of it in her room and eats it with a spoon.  I knew we had some of it around the house, so for her birthday I decided to Google some Nutella dessert recipes.  The Bundt cake I decided to make  turned out to be a winner. The recipe is here if you have a friend or relative who is also in love with the gooey, hazelnut sensation with a birthday coming up. It’s also a great, easy dessert just for the hell of it because Nutella is delicious.

I actually used almost the entire container in the recipe, so I decided to melt some chocolate chips and mix it with about ½ cup peanut butter to frost the cake. If you like peanut butter, chocolate, and hazelnut, say hello to Heaven when you try this variation.

Exhibit B: My mom the health nut.

Coming up with her birthday treat was tricky because I know she loves cheesecake, but would probably just stare longingly if I actually went through all of the trouble to make it. So I had to get a bit creative. I thought about her favorite healthy snack. Pistachios. Lo and behold she had bought some instant pistachio pudding. Bingo. So I didn’t seem too lazy, I decided to make a graham cracker crust to put it in.

I just followed the directions on the back of the pistachio pudding recipe (I recommend using two packages) – the only difference was that I used Vanilla Almond milk instead of whole milk to please my health conscious mom. I actually think this gave it a much sweeter, more delectable flavor.  It was so good that I purposefully made more than enough filling and planned on saving it for myself, I ended up eating the entire bowl before it even entered the fridge. You can top the whole thing with Cool Whip if you desire and you aren’t as lazy as me. Here is an actual recipe as well if you like to be a bit more precise.

These deserts will make you and your wallet a little bit fatter, but it’s nothing a trip to the gym can’t cure. People may also appreciate the time you took to make them desert. Maybe even more so than if you just bought them something with that coupon you’ve been trying to get rid of.

-Shannon Hazlitt

You’ve got the dress, the invitations, the church, the venue, table settings and the sexy husband to match. Everything for your dream wedding is planned and paid for. The only major setback? Allowing that future hubby who enjoys hunting in his spare time to pick out the cake without first consulting you. Introducing: Cake Wrecks.

Cake Wrecks is a blog about cakes for any occasion that for some reason are made in poor taste. For example, a baby cake with babies riding carrot penises. The blog was created by a woman named Jen in May 2008. When she noticed how popular her blog was getting, she decided to write a book–where she promises even more baking atrocities.

A friend at the café I work at introduced me to the blog after I baked her a penis cake for her bachelorette party. I’d like to think the cake turned out beautifully, but she obviously thought otherwise. (She’s very conservative. Oops.) But what’s a bachelorette party without a penis cake?

-Julia Fuino

Mommy would approve.

Did you ever think that you could pre-game and enjoy a piece of cake at the same time? Good news, you can! My mom first introduced this recipe to me last New Year’s Eve and it has become a friend and family favorite ever since. The original recipe comes from Duncan Hines’ website, but I’ve abridged the recipe for you here. Not everyone has time to slave over his or her oven for two hours, so take as much help as you can from the store!
Here’s what you need:
1 loaf pound cake (Freihofer)
1/2 cup Bacardi dark rum (80 proof)
With the prongs of a fork, poke the top of the pound cake at least an inch deep. Do this so that there are many holes covering the surface of the cake. Slowly pour the rum over the cake, making sure to pour it evenly over the entire loaf. The alcohol will seep in through the holes that you created and will make for a moist and delicious treat.
If you’re looking to go one step further, you can make the same glaze found in the recipe as a finishing touch for your no-bake alcohol cake!
This recipe is great for any weekend get-together, or even as a “pick-me-up” after midterms week. No need to raise your glass—it’s all in the cake!
Original recipe here

By Jon Gregalis

For those of you who play games on you iPhone or Android device, you’ve probably tried out the popular “Angry Birds”.  If so, you’ll get a kick out of this cake a man made for his son’s 6th birthday.  It’s modeled after the game and is fully playable!  Who says you can’t play with your food?