Posts Tagged ‘Britney Spears’

Miss American dream since she was seventeen,” Britney Spears, is currently facing ridicule from former bodyguard Fernando Flores, who claims that the Pop princess has seriously poor hygiene. “She wouldn’t shower for days, and broke wind or picked her nose unselfconsciously and unapologetically,” he alleged. Of course, this follows the $10 million dollar lawsuit he held against her just last year for charges of sexual harassment which has since, apparently, caused him psychological damage, depression and insomnia. “Britney would walk around naked in front of me all the time,” said Flores.All I can say is, “ouch.” Can you imagine walking around naked in front of a guy and having him sue you because your body caused him depression and psychological trauma? I know sexual harassment is obviously wrong, but think about it, that is such a knock at the ego. There you are, naked in front of a man, and rather than pursuing you, he just sues you.

This story actually reminds me of a girl I used to work with. She was talking to me last year about her boyfriend’s addiction to Xbox. She said she appeared naked in front of him one night as he was in their room playing it, and rather than giving her his full attention, he told her to wait until the game was over and proceeded to chat with his friends via headset. I couldn’t imagine that one either: coming in second to Xbox. Either he was gay or had a serious addiction. Seems like both my friend from work and Britney could have used some of Jerk’s advice on how to boost your sex life because, clearly, naked disruptions just don’t cut it.

-Julia Fuino

Gays everywhere lose consciousness.

Queens of pop, Britney Spears and Madonna, cover the April issue of OUT magazine.  This marks the start of an annual “Ladies We Love” Issue from OUT.  This year’s issue also features Heather Morris, who plays ditzy-dame, Brittany, on “Glee”.  Morris danced alongside Spears earlier this season in a Britney-themed episode of the hit Fox TV show.  “Glee” also aired a Madonna-themed episode in its first season.  Madonna’s OUT cover, shot by Richard Corman, features rare photos from one year before the debut of Madge’s first album.  This collection of photographs, seen here, showcases the young pop starlet traversing her way around New York City in the early 1980s, before she broke on to the pop scene (and never looked back).

Pop successor, Britney Spears, looks saucy as hell in new photos shot by Ruven Afanador for the mag’s alternate cover.  Britney gets unusually (and refreshingly) chatty in the spread’s accompanying interview.  Brit credits Madonna as a figure of inspiration for her own career.  B discusses cars, collaborators, heaven, hell, drag queens, and advises ice cream as a sure-fire fix to any bad day.  Britney’s seventh studio album, “Femme Fatale” (seen here), drops March 29th.  This Britney era is promo-packed thus far, with the pop-tart covering V Magazine this month and with appearances on Good Morning America and Ellen slated for later in March.

When asked if there were any songs she didn’t like or regretted recording, the snarky songstress replied, “No, All of my songs are fucking amazing.”

—Jake Hebert

We’ve been anticipating the video premiere, “Hold it Against Me,” from Britney Spears’ newly revealed album, “Femme Fatale” (JERK reviewed it here).

Spears also revealed the clip on Twitter, writing: ‘Without further adieu, I present my video for Hold It Against Me, directed by the wonderful Jonas Akerlund… Hope you guys love it as much as I do. If you didn’t I’ll kung fu kick you like I did to that chick in the video.’ (more…)

This week, America’s favorite pop roller coaster, Britney Spears, reveled the name and cover art of her upcoming seventh studio album, “Femme Fatale,” via Twitter.  The cover features an unbeweaveably blonde Britney giving gazers her signature bedroom eyes.  The font choice is less than desirable, but it is an arguable improvement over her last two album covers for Blackout and Circus.  Spears also tweeted a dedication to her fans, dubbing the album “sexy and strong… dangerous yet mysterious.”  Whether the album will deliver or whether Spears actually knows what twitter even is has yet to be determined, but either way, the new era looks promising.  Manager Adam Leber revealed this week “she will be everywhere” (magazines, TV appearances, etc.).  This Britney connoisseur can say that the new cover looks like albums In The Zone and Blackout had a lovechild.  If the sound of the new album follows suit in any way, this will be a good era for B.

The washed up shows on VH1 haven’t gotten so much worse since I was a kid, but VH1 has become the ultimate TV station for pop addicts who want to relive their childhoods. This season, the worst is Celebrity Fit Club. I commend VH1 for getting Kevin Federline and Shar Jackson on the same season. I’ve only watched it once and the tension is horribly fabulous. The “stars” are just ridiculous:

1.Bobby Brown: I guess he hasn’t made enough money off of reality tv shows yet. But maybe he’s hoping that with being on VH1 his career will be on top again.He’s not even that obese. From my glimpse of this show, it seems more like a detox for him.

2. Shar Jackson: She’s known for Moesha, but I’m thinking most people know her as the girl that got screwed over by Kevin Federline. He was the one that made her big in the first place by cheating on her with Britney Spears. What makes this better is that she seems to still have a little thing for Federline.

3. Kevin Federline: In his bio it says he gained the weight because of depression, but honestly how can he be depressed? He got Britney knocked up, got her money, and fathered two of her kids. But maybe I’m seeing this all wrong. I remember hearing that he was packing on the pounds so he could be on this show in the first place, which I now understand if Shar signed the contract first.


That's right bitches... it's time for a celebration

That's right bitches... it's time for a celebration

This has been a fantastic couple of weeks for Jerk and SU. We trounced ‘nova, got that unofficial policy on distribution repealed, survived the snowpacalypse hype (and got a snowday)…etc. etc. While well aware of all the shitty goings on in the world as a whole (seriously guys, Pandora will never exist *sob*), we decided to celebrate the good this week. (Side note: Bitch editor Kevin Eggleston REALLY likes to celebrate.)

As always, click “pop out player” to hear the list.


take it off...

This Monday, Jerk brings you a playlist of the songs that make us want to get naked. These are the songs that make us feel sexy, so sexy we assume you want to see our pasty butts. So, without further ado, get out those stripper poles and shake ya booty!

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Her voice is much prettier than her face

Her voice is much prettier than her face

Britain’s Got Talent has been a huge source of discussion for people across America. The show, which is similar to American Idol, features people of all ages performing their talent on stage in hopes of getting approval from three judges. As the competition goes on, people are eliminated, and the last person left wins a cash prize.

Recently, everyone has been talking about 10-year-old Hollie Steel who danced and sang on stage, wowing the judges. While people appreciate her talent, it doesn’t even compare to the voice of Susan Boyle, an unemployed, never-been-kissed, 47-year-old who performed I Dreamed a Dream on the show a few weeks ago. When she first got on stage, the fashionably troubled woman received eye-rolls from the audience and judges alike. Judge Simon Cowell basically mocked the woman, implying that she must not be very good if she is 47 and has yet to be discovered. Then, Susan Boyle sang and the audience and judges erupted in applause. (more…)