Archive for the ‘ZONE — syracuse’ Category

Each Sunday, some of our proud, intelligent, scholarly Syracuse students are seen doing the annual walk of shame. Now don’t deny it, we’ve all done it or will do it at some point, but on the bright side, we most likely won’t see the person or remember the dude the next day. Well unless you’re “Annie.”

Annie, the typical Syracuse girl with a Northface and Longchamp bag, is a good friend of mine and until I met her, I always thought that the awkward walk of shames were terrible.

Annie has a type of hilarious luck that I can’t pin point, but whenever it happens she calls it, “God’s Comedy Show.” Now, to explain Annie’s hilarious run-ins, it’s not the casual one run-in incident your thinking of, oh no. Annie had hooked up with less than about six guys on campus the whole year, but yet, on a regular day she would run into them about two to three times and it would be worse each time.

After meeting Annie, I realized that those run-ins, though memorable, are better just avoided.  In honor of these run-ins, Annie and I have made five simple rules that will help you avoid or handle these impromptu moments of awkwardness and keeping your dignity:

RULE #1: “Just wear a paper bag over your head.”- If wearing a paper bag over your head, cut holes so you don’t look too weird, then if about to hookup, the hookup will never see your face and you’re in luck.

RULE #2: “Be as casual as possible”: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT point, laugh, run, scream, “OH SHIT,” when you are around the hookup’s presence.

RULE #3: “Act as though they don’t exist”: Example A: HOOKUP: “Oh hey Annie, remember me? We fucked.”  Annie: “Who are you? I don’t know, you’re invisible.”

RULE #4: “The earlier the better”: The second it hits dawn, get your ass out of that house so you both can forget what you guys looked like. This is where that old saying, “don’t look down” comes in handy.

RULE #5: “Have a sense of humor about it, cause let’s be honest it’s funny
but sad.” Laugh about it in your head, this is college. To help this process, simply and softly just say to yourself, “YOLO!”

-Lakota Gambill

So you like to eat, right? Yeah me too. Foods good. Since we’ve established you like food, you’re stuck in ‘cuse and need something to do this coming weekend, you should probably head down to Clinton Square and check out Taste of Syracuse. It’s happening this Friday and Saturday from 11am til 11pm both days, oh, and it’s free – to get in and do things, I’m sure you’ll have to pay for food. There is going to be three stages with an assload of bands playing too. I did my best to find out some info on some of them, but it wasn’t easy. It seems like it’s mostly local bands you’d find playing at Empire Brewing – except for .38 Special, that’s the big draw.

Some of the other bands are:
The Goonies
Hobo Graffiti
Dead End
Three Inch Fury
…and more 

Maybe the music isn’t your thing, that’s cool, there’s other stuff to do as well. You can check out the Watkins Glen show cars, take a spin in one of the car simulators, or play a friendly game of cornhole.

For more information check out the Taste of Syracuse webpage which is conveniently linked here.

If none of that tickles your fancy, you can always check out the Dairy Goat Breeders Annual Show at the fairgrounds…


On a day where the sun is shining and the ground is glistening with droplets of sweat, both tourists and locals make their way to the infamous park that hugs the Sea of Marmara. Just across the Bosphorus on the Asian side of Istanbul, where the streets are more crowded and less organized, if at all possible – the park is alive with smokers and alcoholics and of course those with neither a bottle or a full pack of cigarettes.

Families with their children, friends with friends, and couples linking arms all sprawl in the grass – everyone enjoying each other’s company while watching active persons along the water. Too cold to swim, people rollerblade and few run while others pass a frisbee. A similar dynamic as the quad on Syracuse’s campus, cliques of people form like patches on the grass. Unlike the quad however, visitors and tourists raid the local food market before entering the park and come fully stocked with bottles of wine and packs of Marlboros.

On a day when I visited, it was ‘national pillow-fight day’ and a meager forty participants flocked an area away from the water. Feather pillows in hand, individuals pummeled one another while bits of cotton and feathers covered the ground. The only downfall was the fistfight that I stumbled upon afterwards – perhaps the idea of a real fight was enticing.

Despite the occasional quarrel, it’s a pleasant atmosphere compared to the always-busy streets and the hectic traffic. Although the air still has a faint cigarette perfume that lingers, the wind helps to clear the dense pollution and the stench. People spend a leisurely day at the park, reveling in a natural environment with active individuals, which isn’t a sight regularly seen in Istanbul.

By the end on the afternoon, visitors flee to the nearby cafes, while those who have had too much to drink wander back to the busy streets to catch a ride with the ‘dolmus’ – yellow taxi-vans that run like buses. Faces are colored by the sun and recycling bins are full to the brim with wine bottles and beer cans. Ferries continue across the Bosphorus; before returning to the busy life on the European side, the sun sets and Topkapi Palace and the Blue Mosque glisten as reminders of the charm that makes Istanbul so unique.

-Beatrice Schachenmayr

Small but efficient, unsweetened or a little tart, it’s a satisfying thirst and conversation quencher. Similar to Starbucks’ most popular “caramel macchiato,” Turkish tea can not be resisted.

Served in a tulip-shaped glass vase, it is prepared with two kettles – the larger kettle on the bottom heats the water to a boil while the smaller, top kettle is used to seep the tea to desired strengths. Not dependent on the machine to steam the milk and stir the contents, Turkish tea is a simple and an enjoyable delight.

The fake customer-barista relationship that forms when you are asked for your name when ordering a “caramel macchiato” doesn’t exist. The repetitive decorations of green wallpaper and wooden furniture that line every Starbucks interior with an essence of naturalness isn’t seen either. Rather, the teahouses in Istanbul are ornamentally decorated with unique charms from different centuries, the necessary ashtray, glass lanterns that suspend from the ceilings, and small tables fit for only two. Interaction between customer and barista is more of a friendly greeting and the atmosphere is often more inviting too.

For thousands of years, tea has been an essential part of the Turkish culture. Domestically sustained on the eastern coast of the Black Sea, it is an ideal product to ritualize upon without the worrying of expense for importation. Similar to the growing Starbucks that hasn’t yet managed to sneak onto ever corner of Istanbul, Turkey’s tea market, too is expanding. Most popular in the 20th century, Turkey has become among the largest of tea markets in the world.

-Beatrice Schachenmayr

Jerkin’ it in Istanbul

Posted: March 9, 2012 by jerkmagblog in VAULT -- archives, ZONE -- syracuse

Students lounge between classes on the terrace, each with either a cup of Turkish coffee or Turkish tea and the frequent cigarette. Women dress for a fashion show, carrying their imitation designer bags and a mask of make-up while men support the classy pea coat and the stylish man-scarf. The Northface doesn’t exist. It seems however that despite the label, most of the students at this private Institution in Istanbul can compare to many of those attending Syracuse. The only obvious difference – everyone in Istanbul is addicted to cigarettes.

The terrace sits just on the Bosphorus River with a view of the Golden Horn to the right – where the river meets the Sea of Marmara – and the Bosphorus Bridge to the left. Directly across the river from the University is Asia and a shoreline decorated with vibrantly colored structures. Ferries, crowded with both sightseers and residents skim up and down the Bosphorus and between Europe and Asia Minor. Students sit along the water engaged in conversation as well as a cigarette.

Schine Student Center sits directly across from the Hall of Languages and is adjacent to one of the most ugly buildings in all of the country. There isn’t a faint smell of smoke and most students are engaged in conversation on Facebook chat – everyone with their laptops. But the air is crisp and active students play Frisbee on the green while Turkish school-goers smoke in the park where it is near impossible to find a verdurous patch.

There isn’t the successive passing of ferries or the extraordinary vision of what was once considered to be the “center of the world,” but the Carrier Dome can compare. And at seven hours apart, the sun sets and just the same, the lights of both urban settings flash and the details become faintly noticed.

-Beatrice Schachehmayr

It seems almost clichĂ© to write about the weather here in Syracuse, NY but unlike the many articles, blog posts, or even tweets that bitch and complain about its snowy habits, this here article is dedicated solely to the awfully bipolar experiences we’ve had this year. Like many of you, I came into my freshman year at ‘Cuse armed and ready. The snow attire that I spent a small fortune on would have lasted through the ice storm of ’91.  400 dollars worth of Northface, UGG and Sorel eskimo gear and I was almost excited for trudging to class as if I were a solider marching through Russia. That being said, when we had not even a flake by winter break I was a little confused
 I mean I’m from Rochester, yes Raaaaachester, so I know Upstate winters, and I haven’t had a winter this mild in years. My thoughts were simply to brace myself for the second semester, because we will no doubt get hit hard then.

Right? Wrong. Second semester I came back and wore a mini skirt to class for cripes sake. Well that was only to pass my make-up quiz in office hours, but it was still warm enough dammit! So then, we all adjusted, we said “Fine Winter, you don’t want to come this year and that’s cool with us.” So we broke out the windbreakers, the Converse and that Spring spirit. Then, one lazy Sunday, which started as Springy as the rest of the week, turned into a winter white out in a matter of hours. I spent the day huddled with my boy in my dorm room, who arrived around 2 in the afternoon, and when he went to depart around 11 the condition outside was, unbenounced to us, un-drivable! Its this kind of nonsense we’re irritated with, make up your mind up there!

If you want to snow, snow. If you want us to play fucking Frisbee outside some more, then don’t snow, but stop with the sporadic mid-day white out already! I can’t tell you how many pairs of Tom’s I’ve ruined due to this weather spontaneity, and unlike the kids in Africa, I’m not too happy about it! Please Mother Nature, we beg of you, get on that Zoloft already.

-Deanna Viel

This winter break provides many opportunities to do things you have never done before. So instead of just hanging out with friends from high school, I suggest you take in the sights and landmarks of your hometown. For instance, visit your local Occupy movement. I know many of the encampments have been torn down by local authorities, but in many cities there is a small residual force screaming at the top of their lungs about being the 99 percent.

Last year I visited my old high school, with the wrong intentions. This year I am going to do a complete 180. I will visit my old stomping grounds but not on such a  happy note; this time I will really let my school administration know how little they prepared me for college. This will of course get me removed from school property by the two obese security guards that only move when they go outside to smoke cigarettes across the street from the school entrance alongside the wannabe beatniks.

As every workplace prepares their holiday party, crash the one at your parents’ office by spiking the really cheap holiday punch. Not only will you get a kick out of this but so will your parents because they would love to tell their jackass boss how much they hate him or her without the fear of their boss actually remembering it.  This way there will be no repercussions following their tirade. Whatever you do over the break, have a good time. You do not have to attend lectures or recitations and I think that is a break we all deserve.

Let Jerk know what your plans are for winter break!

-Brysan Brown

As I have been locked up in my dorm studying for final exams and writing unreasonably long papers that professors will only read half of, I have also been listening to some my favorite albums. I find that good music can help counteract writing a tedious paper or studying for a final exam. But there are certain albums that need to be listened to for certain classes and subjects.

Last semester while studying for my Human Sexuality final, I found that any Prince album helped me stay focused. I suggest either “Purple Rain” or “1999.” For history papers focusing on the 1980s, the Reagan administration and what really went down back then, Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the U.S.A.” is always a good pick.  If you can’t decipher his lyrics on your own, I’ll let you in on a secret: It is not an endorsement of Reagan. For chemistry tests, I would recommend “The Velvet Underground & Nico” because if you are studying chemistry, at some point, you’re going to need a little heroin. (Just kidding. Kids, that shit will melt your brain.)


Syracuse is known for three things: Syracuse University, snow and the Carousel Mall. I’d choose a day of classes with the obstacle of trudging through three feet of snow on the ground any day than another trip to the mall, but let’s not go there. Last year, The Daily Beast named Syracuse the snowiest city in the country with our neighbors to the north, Rochester and Buffalo, coming in second and third, respectively. So, the biggest spectacle in Upstate New York besides watching another losing season by the Buffalo Bills is seeing your house being buried in snow.

But by living in Syracuse the past few weeks you would not even know it’s winter, let alone Christmas time; we have had temperatures reach the mid fifties. But not everyone is complaining–the walk of shame has been less rigorous and it is less dangerous to cross Comstock than it was this time last year. Unless it snows within the next few weeks, Al Gore will be seeking out every global warming skeptic within five miles of the quad saying, “Told ya so.”

The snow this time last December made me reconsider my choosing Syracuse over the University of Denver. But the snow provides Syracuse students with many opportunities, or better yet, excuses. Let’s be honest, some professors do use it as a reason to cancel classes even though they may say otherwise. And for those that live off-campus or in my case last year, Dellpain, it is justification for missing class.

-Brysan Brown

The cover of USA Today featured a story comparing the sexual abuse scandals at Penn State and Syracuse, with a picture of Jim Boeheim beneath the headline. I did not even bother to read the article. In my eyes–and in the eyes of many–there can be no comparison between the two scandals.

While Jim Boeheim definitely acted insensitively by dismissing Bernie Fine’s accusers as liars seeking money, there has been no proof that he was actually informed by anyone that may have witnessed Fine behaving inappropriately with children as was the case with Penn State and Joe Paterno.

Boehiem took a step in the right direction on Friday  by apologizing for his initial remarks about the scandal and saying, “I believe I misspoke very badly about the accusations that have been made. I regret any harm that I caused.”

As Chancellor Nancy Cantor and the university administration stand behind Boeheim, they are also defending the university’s reputation. From our knowledge, the university conducted its own investigation several years ago and today are fully cooperating with the authorities. Understandably, every SU student hopes that no university official had proof of any of the illegal activities Fine has been accused of committed. It would mean that a child has suffered and no one did anything to find that child justice. But that is one of the distinguishing factors that makes the case at Syracuse different from Penn State.

The media has every right to cover this story but should exercise caution when comparing this situation to the one at Penn State. It seems as though everyday a new event surrounding this case is unfolding. A friend of mine that goes to college in Boston recently asked me what is going on in Syracuse, and I told her everyone at SU is asking the same question.

– Brysan Brown