You’re sitting at home on a weeknight with your buds. You flip through the channels and quickly flip past Law and Order: SVU and secretly want to go back, but the etiquette for the one holding the remote infers that someone else has to yell out first. Luckily everyone does with a series of inaudible noises: “Euh!” “Oi!” “Wah!” “Dsdvknwr!”
“OK!” you reply with a little too much glee. You flip back to SVU. This is the moment where all your friends realize the surprisingly large amount of excitement and urgency they all expelled, and you look around your little circle into each other’s eyes. Finally, you realize you are ALL sick creeps. (The soundtrack to this is Detective Benson describing some fucked up molestation-prostitution-S&M situation, and the realization that you’re as fucked up as this sex crime is finalized as you think, “Yeah this is gonna be a good episode.”)
Why do we love Law & Order: SVU? Why do we scream “Dsdvknwr!” at our beloved friends when they flip over it? I question my sanity and likelihood of being a serial killer when I sit there and watch twelve straight hours of horrible sex crimes and actually consider that a day well spent. When it’s over I’m too scared to move and will call 911 next time any man is in the same town as me, but by tomorrow I’ll have bought the next 200 seasons.
I’m not sure what about terrifying sex crimes draws us in. Or maybe it really is the acting expertise of Ice T. Whichever one it is, we’re still a bunch of creepy people.