“Wanna Sign Me In?”

Posted: October 23, 2012 by jerkmagblog in VICES -- sex, drugs & alcohol
Tags: , ,

When the question, “do you want to sign me in?” comes out after a night of flirtatious glances and dance floor bump and grind, there is an obvious underlying question at hand: “do you want to hook up?”

Although everyone loves a good co-ed sleepover, most guys and gals aren’t necessarily trying to just hang out at two in the morning. So when you come back home with your man or woman of the night, you better believe that your RSA knows exactly what you’re up to.

You have to ask yourself whether or not the anticipated next forty or so minutes of doggy style is really worth the the awkward run-in with the RSA manning the door.

If you’re wondering why I care enough to write this, it’s because I found myself asking this very question as recently as Thursday night. I was trying to think quickly while standing outside of Watson, teetering drunkenly on my heels.

Did I want to sign him in? Did I want to be reverse cow-girling in my dorm room while my roommates slept quietly in the room just next to me? Or were we just going to make out on the couch to ESPN highlights like we did on Tuesday night? I was trying to get a feel for the situation; gauging the amount of physical contact we’d had that night. You could say that sex was the preferred climax of the evening, as opposed to blue-balling and letting him leave. I couldn’t tell if I had even wanted to sleep with him. Did I even have a condom? What underwear was I wearing? I was trying to get the attention of my roommate, trying to sexile her with my eyes to see if she got mad. But then he began walking up the Watson steps, so regardless of whether or not I wanted a facial…

Yeah I’ll sign you in,” I replied, as he was holding the door open for me. How convenient.

Thinking back to that night, we only made out and had dry sex for about a half hour until I passed out. He kissed me when he left at six in the morning, but I doubt we’ll ever speak again. Next time I find myself in this situation, I want to have this all mapped out mentally so that if/when he asks, I will give him an assertive “yes,” or start fake vomiting for “no.”

-Deanna Viel

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