The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly: Long Distance Relationships

Posted: April 12, 2012 by jerkmagblog in VAULT -- archives

So the people of Syracuse just aren’t doing it for you anymore and you’ve fallen head over heels for that kindred spirit you met on Tumblr who goes to college clear across the States. You can’t imagine being without them now that you know they exist in the world, but how do you make it work when the person you love isn’t close by and college temptations are high?

I’ve been in two long-distance relationships in the past few years that both ended after a few long, and at times frustrating months. You’d think that’d make me swear them off forever, but I do believe that they can work as long as you know what you’re getting into are both fully committed.

The Good: Most people will only get involved in an LDR if they feel a very strong connection to the person that they are dating. So much so that the miles, and money spent flying around the world can’t compare to the pure joy of being with that person. Naturally, you’ll spend a lot of time talking to each other—only talking.  This means that your bond will be much stronger than most other “regular” couples who have the day-to-day stuff to distract them from actually talking to each other.

I had dated my boyfriend at the time for 2 years before the move to college split us up and the LDR was set into motion.  We were both crazy about each other, so it seemed that staying together was the only option, but the distance made me realize that the things that were keeping us together had very little to do with us being right for each other and more to do with a form desperate co-dependence. Once our relationship was reliant on conversation, it became clear that we didn’t have much to say.

The Bad: It’s true that absence does make the heart grow fonder, but it can also make you crazy. Online video chatting has made the separation anxiety easier to bear, but even an old fashioned letter can be exciting too. You’re going to be tempted to call it quits when everyone around you is coupling up and you’re stuck on the computer waiting for your sweetheart to sign onto Skype. The best way to keep it going is talk to contact each other every day, even if it’s only a short message to show them that you still care, and to see them in person as often as possible.

The Ugly: The worst part of LDRing is pretty obvious— the absence of regular sex. If you get really desperate, you can do it the chatroulette way with some good old-fashioned webcam sex. Hey, this section isn’t called the ugly for no reason. If you can’t stomach the visuals, you could always perfect your dirty talk and put your desires into writing. Just know that this could have some embarrassing repercussions when a nosy interloper decides to scroll through your chat history and gets more than they bargained for.

-Kitty Pedding


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