The Nice Guy’s New Best Friend

Posted: October 28, 2011 by jerkmag in CRISP -- health
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Birth control: it can help you prevent unwanted pregnancies, ease those pre-menstrual pains, and clear up annoying acne. But if you were hoping it could help you pick out a man with movie star good looks and impressive sexual abilities, think again.

When not remedied by birth control, women’s hormones are all over the place, reaching their peak at menstruation.  In between fits of crying, screaming and craving something salty, women find themselves attracted to the “manliest” of men–muscles, facial hair, square jaws…you get the idea). These specific male characteristics pique a woman’s interest on the most primal of levels: breeding.

Instinctively, women often choose men with dissimilar pheromones and body structures to their own. These differences are beneficial to childbearing since two genetically different people will make a healthy baby, more often than not. Since the conception of birth control, however, women who are on the pill rely less on satisfying carnal instinct and more on finding a comfortable, long-term partner.

A recent study by the Proceedings of the Royal Society B–don’t worry, I don’t know who they are either, but thank goodness for–surveyed a group of 2,500 Scottish and Czech women, all of whom were biological mothers, about their relationship with the children’s fathers. As it turns out, women who were on the pill when they met their children’s father rated his “financial provision” more favorable than his level of attractiveness.

Basically, when women aren’t on the pill, they go for the more virile types of men, the ones you can’t tear your eyes away from while they’re lifting weights at the gym. While women who are on the pill end up choosing the guys on the elliptical machines that you can take home to mom and dad.

So, to all you “nice guys” out there: stop complaining about finishing last, and just go find a girl who’s on the pill.

-Amber Brenza

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