The Downside to Befriending Your Guy’s Buddies

Posted: October 21, 2011 by jerkmag in CRISP -- health
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

As women, most of us want to befriend our guy’s friends. But what happens when his friends end up liking you more than they like him?

A new study at Cornell University suggests that men who share mutual friends with their girlfriends may experience sexual problems. The study found that men who experience “betweenness,” a term for when a man’s girlfriend is closer to his friends than he is, are more likely to experience erectile dysfnction (ED).

Men who are experiencing “betweenness” feel as though their masculinity is being threatened. With their girlfriends infringing on their male territory, men feel a lack of privacy, which is a key characteristic of masculinity.

In addition to feeling emasculated, men also find themselves experiencing lower levels of attraction to their girlfriends, after regularly seeing them in an environment where they would be considered buddies instead of significant others.

Luckily, men become more comfortable with their own sense of masculinity as they age, and the chances of men experiencing and resenting “betweenness” greatly decreases. Older men prefer to define their relationships by experience and togetherness rather than independence.

But just because experts are warning you that befriending your guy’s pals may be harmful to your relationship, it doesn’t mean that you and your man can’t share a group of friends. In fact, other research shows that couples who have shared friends feel a greater sense of “couplehood.” The shared group of friends also acts as a support base for the relationship.

So before you agree to join your guy’s buddies for poker night, think about the effects that it could have on your relationship. But, if you’re really looking forward to getting your gambling on, just invite him along.

-Amber Brenza

  1. rob ert says:

    it’s a funny thing when a friend follows your wife and not you. #warning

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