College Friendships: Through Thick and Thin

Posted: October 19, 2011 by jerkmag in VAULT -- archives
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After catching up with a friend of mine who I’ve known since freshman year, I’m not going to lie– it was pretty awkward. I don’t know how that friend felt about our reunion, but I’m pretty sure the feeling was mutual. It’s sad how that happens. I knew this person since Day One of my college career, through thick and thin, we’ve been through so much together. We knew each other’s stories, secrets, pasts, and goals. We’ve seen each other cry, laugh, get wasted, and even sleep. However, after a semester apart and new relationships, our friendship gradually started to fade…at least that’s how I felt.

Going back to our reunion, I just felt like there was a disconnection somewhere. Usually when we meet, we would always end up just being crazy and hysterically laughing at nothing. We always connected in a way no one else could have. Maybe it was the distance, or the timing, or just the fact that we’ve both matured in different ways that brought this mysterious wall between us.

Whatever it was, this time, we weren’t really laughing. We were barely agreeing on anything each of us were saying and there was just a solid seriousness and remoteness in the air. After we went our own ways, I started to think if we could ever be the same again.  Would we be able to share and rekindle that connection we had when we were freshmen? I’m guessing we might have to try harder, meet for lunch or dinner more, and just hang out in general with each other more.

But then what happens if we do try and it still doesn’t feel the same? Are we supposed to just live with it and just have to keep those moments from our freshman year as memories? I mean, there’s a limit to how much a person can try. I’m not saying I’ve given up on our friendship already, but I guess I’m just afraid to see the results.

I might also simply be overreacting (I tend to do that a lot) and over-thinking this like a freak, but it just made me think about the friendships and other relationships I had my freshman year and how much they have changed since then. There are some relationships where we still treat each other like the best of friends, and then there are others where we don’t even say ‘hi’ when we bump into each other on campus.

It’s just scary how time changes a lot of things. Good or bad, I feel like we all should cherish what we have with us now, appreciate it, and not take it for granted. People will always come and go. I guess we just have to figure out who among those people are our true friends–and never let them go. But, on a brighter note, maybe the key to finding those true friends is following The Friendship Algorithm.

-Ellie Sul

  1. […] Dan Clowes’ graphic novel, “Ghost World” tells the story of Enid Coleslaw and her best friend Rebecca during the months between their high school graduation and the following October. The girls curse a lot, obsess over freaks and strange events in their lives and eventually come to realize their childhood friendship may not survive their transition into adulthood. […]

  2. […] Why would you want to ruin that by getting into a relationship? By the end, you will just have no friends, your grades will be bad and freshman year will be over just like […]

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