How to Survive a Breakup: Be Successful

Posted: October 18, 2011 by jerkmag in VAULT -- archives
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You’re feeling worthless, stupid, maybe even a little embarrassed. No one enjoys being broken up with. You don’t just wake up one day and think “wow, I would just adore to have my heart broken this afternoon.” Certain places become emotional landmines. Certain television shows, certain movies, certain people, become “off-limits.”

You’re angry and hostile and no one really wants to be around  you right now, aside from your friends–who sort of have to be. But let’s face it, your friends can only do so much. They can sit there and tell you that you deserve better, blah blah blah… but you’ve heard that from so many people already that if you hear it one more time, you might hit someone. You want to get back at your ex for making you feel so shitty. So what do you do?

The best form of revenge you can get on your ex, believe it or not, isn’t punching them in the face, or finding someone else, or even going psycho and hiring a hit person. So chill out, crazy. I know it feels like the end of the world, but consider the breakup as a favor. Also, don’t post pictures of yourself on Facebook whoring it out. Not only is it obvious that you’re doing it for attention, but you look stupid and desperate. Be classy.

The best form of revenge you can have on an ex is success. It doesn’t matter where you are in your life right now; it’s about where you’re ending up. So stop sulking and feeling sorry for yourself. Show whoever it is that hurt you that you aren’t just going to sit there and take it. Brush it off, and make something great out of a shitty situation.

That way, instead of wasting three months and only having tears and failed classes to show for it, you will have used your anger as motivation to keep going. Push yourself, and make something of yourself instead of turning into a basket case. Don’t give an ex the satisfaction of knowing you’re hurting; it only boosts their ego in the long run.

My best advice to go about being successful is to keep busy. Get a part-time job, join a gym, surround yourself with friends, catch up with old ones, TALK to people. Don’t become a hermit. Because then, not only do you look like an asshole, but you’re not helping yourself even if that’s “just how you deal with things.” Get up and get moving.

Don’t let a breakup be the reason why you’re missing out on anything. I really hate being cliché, but I do believe that everything happens for a reason. As a friend once told me, people are only in your life long enough to learn from. Once you’ve learned all you can from that person, that is when things like breakups happen. Each boyfriend/girlfriend you have teaches you something, whether you want to admit it or not. (Eventually, you will.) So make yourself proud. Go out and kick the living shit out of life.

Here’s to being successful. Cheers to that!

-Julia Fuino

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