Ratio My Ass

Posted: September 25, 2011 by jerkmag in VAULT -- archives
Tags: , , , ,

Yup, that's what you boys look like.

So far, making the adjustment to college has been a lot easier than I anticipated, however, I’ve grown to realize that there is one major issue that NO ONE told me about before entering my freshman year.

This so-called “ratio” is bullshit. I’m talking about the whole idea of freshmen guys rounding girls up like cattle in order to get into parties. This is not exactly what I signed up for. As it is, girls are already used by guys for so many other things. (“Make me a sandwich,” Can you help me fold my clothes?”) Now, I have to worry about guys leeching onto my girlfriends and I every time we want to go out and have a good time?  I don’t think so.

Dear Freshmen Boys,

Please, don’t use your girl friends to get into parties.  Don’t be mad if your night didn’t go as planned and blame it on the girls that couldn’t get you into a party. First, it’s not my job to make sure you have a good time. Second, make fun on your own.  Try and make friends or join a fraternity in the spring so that you have more of a social life.  Until then, stop clinging to girls on Comstock. If you know you’re going to a party, try and talk to a guy in the house beforehand, or check with your girl friends if it is cool before you tag along.  No one likes a bitchy boy complaining about how his night sucked because he had to walk for hours looking for a party.

Love,

Fresh Meat

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Comments
  1. jt says:

    tell them clingy boys

  2. […] Well we, their peers do, of course. We beg for entry into their nightly sticky, sweaty, smelly parties, and endure alcohol poisoning, self-esteem deterioration and six weeks of insomniac Hell to be a […]

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