Britney Spears Sued for Farting and Stripping. Well, Allegedly.

Posted: July 22, 2011 by jerkmag in POP - pop culture
Tags: , , , , , ,
Miss American dream since she was seventeen,” Britney Spears, is currently facing ridicule from former bodyguard Fernando Flores, who claims that the Pop princess has seriously poor hygiene. “She wouldn’t shower for days, and broke wind or picked her nose unselfconsciously and unapologetically,” he alleged. Of course, this follows the $10 million dollar lawsuit he held against her just last year for charges of sexual harassment which has since, apparently, caused him psychological damage, depression and insomnia. “Britney would walk around naked in front of me all the time,” said Flores.All I can say is, “ouch.” Can you imagine walking around naked in front of a guy and having him sue you because your body caused him depression and psychological trauma? I know sexual harassment is obviously wrong, but think about it, that is such a knock at the ego. There you are, naked in front of a man, and rather than pursuing you, he just sues you.

This story actually reminds me of a girl I used to work with. She was talking to me last year about her boyfriend’s addiction to Xbox. She said she appeared naked in front of him one night as he was in their room playing it, and rather than giving her his full attention, he told her to wait until the game was over and proceeded to chat with his friends via headset. I couldn’t imagine that one either: coming in second to Xbox. Either he was gay or had a serious addiction. Seems like both my friend from work and Britney could have used some of Jerk’s advice on how to boost your sex life because, clearly, naked disruptions just don’t cut it.

-Julia Fuino

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