It took officials six years to catch these thieves. Ronald Mancuso and Sean McGuigan, two Syracuse natives, stole $2.9 million from the city of Syracuse. Instead of simply breaking into a bank, taking the money and bailing, it took these two a little longer to fill their piggy banks. Collecting their loot during the late hours of the night, Mancuso and McGuigan smashed parking meters and collected the coins. Now fighting a lawsuit by the city, Jerk wonders what these two guys were planning on using the money for. Here are a couple ideas we came up with, if we had $2.9 million burning in our pockets:

1. Coffee: If you want to spend your money on something small, consider a cup of coffee. Averaging around $4.50, with $2.9 million you can get 866,666 cups of coffee at Starbucks. You will have a lifetime supply and earn VIP status.

2. Bra: Looking for something a little flashier? Check out the $2 million bra. That’s right, mob over to Victoria’s Secret, and you can spend a good sum of your cash on the Bombshell Fantasy Bra. Designed by Damiani and worn by Adriana Lima, this undergarment will look good on, and maybe even off.

3. Car: You can spread your wealth on a couple average cars, but why not be a big spender and check out the Bugatti Veyron. A European sports car that costs $2.1 million will definitely give you baller status. Traveling at a high speed of 267 mph, this Bugatti will guzzle its gas in 12 minutes. When calculating your enormous gas bill, don’t forget the $3,000 annual upkeep fees.

4. Alcohol: Let’s be real, we saved the best for last. If you have a few bucks to spare, or maybe 5,000, you can purchase the world’s most expensive Tequila bottle. Valued at $3.5 million, The Diamond Sterling is both sterling and encrusted with 4,100 diamonds. The only problem is the alcohol is not included. Our opinion: save your money and forget the bottle; spend it on the booze.

-Nicole Fisher
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