Newsflash: Braces Now In Style

Posted: June 23, 2011 by jerkmag in VAULT -- archives
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Brace yourself (pun completely intended), for the worst trend in recent memory. Two respected orthodontists, Dr. Marc S. Lechman and Dr. Jennifer Salzer, have paired up with respected accessories designer, Lisa Salzer, to pass off orthodontic materials as children’s fashion. Remember those horrific colored bands that unfortunately caught ruminants of your middle school lunches? Well, now you can wear them on your wrists! Yes, Braced-lets are made out of orthodontic chains; yum.

Braced-lets are a cruel attempt to capitalize on the awkward braces stage. Wearing braces myself, I know how uncomfortable and, well, ugly you become once metal takes over your mouth. The last thing preteens need is for an orthodonist to capitalize on their fragile mental states, and convince them it is cool or okay to have braces. It is not; braces are awkward, and that is a fact of life.

The sad thing is the brainchildren of this disaster are actually very brilliant and well-educated. Dr. Lemchen is a graduate of Tufts University School of Dental Medicine. Dr. Salzer is a graduate of Duke University and New York University College of Dentistry. Both orthodontists have done very well in their industry and have won numerous awards. Lets just say, this was not their most brilliant undertaking.

Unfortunately Lisa Salzer, founder and designer of Lulu Frost Jewelry and Dr. Salzer’s sister, was dragged into the mess. Lulu Frost is a renowned jewelry company that recently paired up with J.Crew to create iconic and accessible pieces. Dr. Salzer may be family, but associating your creative brilliance with brace-faced middle school children is not the way to go. Rumor has it these Braced-lets may be the next Silly Bandz. Orthodonistry is not trendy. Straighten out those buckteeth and move on. Please, don’t celebrate your metal mouth.

-Victoria Troxler

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Comments
  1. I thought this article was about dental braces. Trying to find arguments for braces (dental). They are also in style:)

  2. […] are just gross and a total reminder of middle school. Actually, I take that back; ALL oral tools (braces, retainers, mouth guards, etc.) are just plain disgusting and should only be worn during or before […]

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