Archive for May, 2011

I Have Feyth in Tina

Posted: May 7, 2011 by jerkmag in VAULT -- archives
Tags: , ,

Step 1: Read BossypantsStep 2: Laugh ass off.

Story:  I’ve mentioned before that I don’t really do the whole nonfiction thing.  My life is nonfiction enough without adding other people’s baggage into it.  However, when I saw that Tina Fey had a new book coming out, Bossypants, I knew I’d be bending that particular rule for the third time in my life.  (The first was for David Sedaris, and the second for Stephen Colbert’s I Am America (And So Can You!)).  I love Tina Fey.  She’s a great actress and screenwriter, so I was sure that she would prove to be an equally entertaining author.

I was not disappointed. (more…)


Rei Kawakubo is a genius. She has managed to have a long and highly respected career without ever compromising her creative integrity. The debate has been going and going about whether designers can be called artists or not; some say they simply make clothing so their work is useful. For many, that may be an accurate statement. Yet, Rei is an exception. She has a strong and clear vision, and it is unlike any other. The work has been avant-garde and without parallel since the beginning. In 1973, she began COMME des GARÇONS. The design house is her brainchild, and is still in business today, despite that she has no formal training in design. (more…)

A few weeks back, we learned of Christophe Decarnin’s departure from Balmain. Design houses change creative director quite often depending on the size of the house. In France, most companies have been around for decades and fallen off after the death of their eponymous designer. In order to revive and profit from the name, they bring in new design talent. For this reason, when young designers establish themselves and regain the status of the company, their style can blend and give it a new identity. Decarnin managed to do that for Balmain, which justifies the general doubt about which direction the house would go in after his departure. Who would be able to replicate what he did, and will the brand survive without his individual approach?

Well, now we find  25-year-old Olivier Rousteing being named head designer of Balmain. Despite his youth, he has managed to have an accomplished list of achievements, working five years at Roberto Cavalli, and two previous years at Balmain. Hopefully, he lives up to his predecessor.

-Nadjma Sako

This spring, Oxygen network premiers a new reality show, The World According to Paris.  Oxygen promises the docu-series that follows the Hollywood heiress reveals the girl behind the red carpets, the makeup, and the glamour.  Hilton teased to RadarOnline, “the [show] is an inside look into my life, my relationship, my family, friends and everything that happens on a daily basis.”  Hilton goes on, “There’s a lot of laughs, tears, drama and fun! Viewers are going to get to see the real me and get to see what its like to be me.”  Oh yippee!

“I wasn’t ready to do a reality show until now,” says Paris.  While the concept is far from groundbreaking, and by no means appears to echo “Emmy” from it’s mist, the show surely looks to entertain Hiltonites who can’t get enough of the heiress.  Hilton calls her previous roles on The Simple Life and My BFF mere “characters.”   She dished to Entertainment Tonight, “I had continued doing that character, so I think people assume that’s really how I am” (watch the entire interview here).  So, will The World According to Paris reveal a genius businesswoman that continues to fool the general population?  Probably not.  But I predict the show will unveil a new Paris that the world has never seen before.  As the heiress turns 30, which is documented on the show, Paris seems ready to drop the “that’s hot” bimbo façade and get on with her life as a businesswoman (she plans to release her 12th fragrance soon) and heiress figurehead.

Hilton’s mother, Kathy, joins Paris, and Charlie Sheen’s estranged wife, Brooke Mueller on the show.  “The World According to Paris” premiers Wednesday, June 1st at 10pm on Oxygen Network.

-Jake Hebert

Lady Gaga gets all washed up in a new sneak-peek clip from her upcoming HBO special, Lady Gaga Presents The Monster Ball Tour at Madison Square Garden.  Videos like this offer a rare glimpse in to the off-stage life of Lady Gaga.  They reveal a much different person behind the wigs, lipstick, and confident exterior.  Here, Gaga spills, “I just sometimes feel like a loser still, you know?  It’s crazy ‘cause we’re at the Garden but I still sometimes feel like a loser kid in high school.”  As Gaga grows from The Fame disco-stick Gaga to Born this Way prosthetics-wearing Gaga, she continues to preach acceptance and equality (sometimes politically) to her fans, or what she calls “Little Monsters.”  Gaga speaks about the “Mother Monster” (as she calls herself) relationship between her and her fans, stating, “I just gotta pick my shit up, gotta pick myself up, and I have to tell myself I’m a superstar every morning so that I can get through this day and be for my fans what they need for me to be… I cannot be destroyed and I will not be destroyed.”

So there you have it, superstar Lady Gaga is just as messed up as you and I.  I jest.  This blogger admires and raises his glass to her preachings pertaining to positivity and equality, although I may question her methods and motives from time to time.  I’d get in line for Monster Ball tickets just as early as the next Gaga stan, but this does not mean that I need saving.  Can’t I be a Gaga fan and not teeter on the verge of sanity and suicide?  Apparently I risk being destroyed and need “Mother Monster” to save me.  Gaga recently received flack for calling comparisons of her Born This Way track to Madonna’s Express Yourself “retarded.”  Aside from that, and an occasional appearance on the “worst dressed” list, I don’t think there is much destruction going on in Gaga’s life.  Lady Gaga Presents The Monster Ball Tour at Madison Square Garden premiers May 7, 2011 on HBO.

-Jake Hebert

A King with No Crown

Posted: May 1, 2011 by jerkmag in BLARE -- music
Tags: ,

By now we all know that Gaga is unstoppable. With 6 Grammy Awards, 9 Number-One singles, and a throng of “little monsters,” there is no questioning Gaga’s longevity as a pop icon.

With the release of “Judas,” the second single off her much-anticipated album Born This Way due out May 23, Gaga lays the framework for what is sure to be a different kind of pop album. In a recent interview, Gaga spoke to the critique that her new material is too heavy or dark for her mostly-pop roots. Her reply was simple: “I’m not going to put out music that people expect. I am not manufactured. And if you want me to be manufactured you can f**k off.” (more…)

After a four-hour stint in the Lynwood Correctional Facility, Linsday Lohan is free again, out on a steep $75,000 bail.  Here, Lohan can be seen leaving jail (for now) after her four-hour visit.  Last month, LiLo violated her probation from a previous Felony Grand Theft charge after allegedly stealing a necklace from a jewelry store.  This weekend, a judge reduced Lohan’s Felony Grand Theft charge to a misdemeanor.  Lohan still owes the state 480 hours of community service from a previous probation violation for her 2007 DUI conviction.  E! reports 360 of those hours will be spent helping the homeless at the Downtown Women’s Center, and 120 at the L.A. County Coroner’s Office performing janitorial tasks.  Yes, scrubbing toilets.

As much as this blogger doesn’t want to relish in the misery of those more fortunate, Lindsay deserves it.  The troubled actress and singer continues to dupe her way out of years of legal troubles and jail sentences that would have the average-Joe incarcerated for life already (skim LiLo’s criminal record up to 2010, here).  Her honorable Judge Stephanie Sautner hopes that Lindsay’s time at both facilities will scare her straight.  Lohan’s lawyers continue requests for an appeal to the 120-day court sentence.  In the meantime, they may also request to postpone all community service until the appeal is officially approved or denied.  Hollywood lawyers are doing nothing to debunk the “money can buy you freedom” proverb.  Monday, LiLo taped a segment for the Jay Leno Show that should air later this week.  So, should Lindsay get off again?  What happened to the little girl in The Parent Trap?  “DAMN, AFRICA, WHAT HAPPENED?”

—Jake Hebert