Post of the Week 4/3-4/10: It has nothing to do with “what’s on the inside”…

Posted: April 11, 2011 by jerkmag in VAULT -- archives

ID Card? Check. Blackberry? Check. Flask? …you betcha. Dignity? No where to be found.

A night out isn’t complete without the accompaniment of a friendly flask. There’s no need to wonder where the keg is when you have your own special blend waiting for your liver to sort out.

Flasks are quickly becoming a necessary accessory for anyone who is headed out to a party. While concerning yourself over what top or pair of shoes will accompany your outfit the best, don’t forget to figure in your flask as well. C’mon now, it obviously needs to match your outfit.

Flasks range in size, shape and appearance. Some people choose to sport a flask with a pattern, some choose to keep it simple with a solid color, and others choose one of the bedazzled sort. And when you whip that flask out of your garter, clutch, or pocket, know that everyone will be wondering what’s on it. Your flask does say something about you; it’s like the Sillybandz we once wore, lame Bandz, lame person. Before heading out with your Spongebob flask this weekend, find out what your flask says about you.Animal print:

Meow. Rawr. Grrr. Welcome to the zoo, friend, and you’re as fierce and wild as all those wild cats. Cheetah, zebra, and giraffe are all great additions to your flask collection.


When chosen well, you will reign as the classiest of them all. A classic plaid or retro flower print will be sure to grab someone’s attention as you sneak in a shot. Patterns are also great additions to an outfit featuring a solid color, but beware of pairing a plaid top and plaid flask. Too much is too much!

Vintage art:

Some flasks feature vintage art or a vintage art style. Both of these give the vibe that you are a really chill person. You probably have a sense of humor and you appreciate a throwback–a nice pairing. Artsy, creative, and fun are probably just some of your personal qualities.

Brand logo:

Uh oh. If The U.S.S. Enterprise’s logo is adorning your flask, this is a problem. Star Trek, Star Wars, and other iconic brands are still widely popular, but flasks featuring elements of these storied franchises have their place. Perhaps a good time to whip this out at a party is when it’s a themed party or when you are alone in your room. Brands are tricky, choose wisely.

Prepare for people to look your way when you swig from that fabulous bedazzled flask, though. Flasks are the latest fashion trend for any party-goer now, so be sure to purchase yours soon!

– Jon Gregalis

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