Home, Sweet Closet

Posted: April 11, 2011 by jerkmag in VAULT -- archives
Tags: , ,

Location, location, location. They say there is nothing more important than the location of a potential home. They’re wrong. As important as location is, there are some things that just take precedence over it. Things like having a kitchen. Or not having to sit on the toilet sideways to fit your legs in the bathroom. Or even the small things in life such as having a storage space for your bananas that is not inside your toaster oven. These are all luxuries that Felice Cohen is not able to experience. That’s because her Manhattan apartment measures a grand total of 90 square feet.

With just enough space for a chair, a tiny TV, a desk, cabinets and other storage units, as well as a loft area to sleep in, the cramped walk-in-closet-posing-as-an-apartment is a prime example of instances when great location means nothing. Sure, she can look out her window (provided she can get to it without tripping over her one chair or one of the many storage units blocking her path) and see the bustling streets of the Upper West Side below. And sure, it takes Cohen just a couple of minutes to walk to Central Park. But what good is all of that when taking a shower calls for extensive maneuvering and her fridge holds less than a college student’s mini fridge?

I mean come on – she had a panic attack the first night she had to sleep in the loft, with the ceiling inches above her and the walls closing in on her. I’m not even a claustrophobe and the thought of Cohen’s sleeping quarters freaks me out a little.

-Maisha Shahi

[Editor’s Note (8/10/11): This post has been edited since its original publishing. The original post incorrectly named the author of the source post at Gawker as the subject of the video. Jerk regrets this error.]

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Comments
  1. ImLeah says:

    Wow, Maisha! Great investigative journalism! Like, really great. It’s interesting that you mention the full name of the woman living in this apartment. This Leah Beckmann does sound like she’s into some “whack as shit” indeed. Way to call it like you see it, Maish. The only thing is- and it’s a small thing really- that I happen to be Leah and I wrote the article posted on Gawker. I am not the woman in the article you are ridiculing but am the author of the post.
    Just thought you should know before you head off to the Journaling School of Journalism for Journalists. Good luck!

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