Did I do that?

Posted: April 11, 2011 by jerkmag in VAULT -- archives
Tags: , , ,

Hayastan Shakarian, a 75-year old Georgian woman, lives in the poverty-stricken village of Armazi. She scavenges for scrap metal, and uses her meager earnings to sustain herself. Currently, however, she is involved in a cross-national controversy regarding the Internet.

Shakarian was searching for scrap metal recently when she was cut by what she thought was any old cable. Unfortunately for her, it happened to be a fiber-optic cable linking Georgia to Armenia. The cable provides 90 percent of Armenians with Internet access. For more than twelve harrowing hours, the vast majority of Armenians experienced a world devoid of the Internet (it is not clear yet how many actually survived the calamity, though the prediction is grim).

Shakarian is facing up to three years in prison for her sinister doings. In her testimonies, she has maintained her innocence in the matter, though I see right through her tears (yes, there were tears) to the evil that lies within.

And, the best part of all? Shakarian claims to have never heard of this ‘Internet.’ She says she has no idea what it is. Who does she think she’s fooling? An impoverished village dweller in her mid-seventies scavenging for sustenance, a single fiber-optic cable tucked deep into rural Georgia providing nearly all of Armenia with internet, the wiping out of a nation’s connection to the cyber world, and crocodile tears enlaced with claims of innocence. I sense a sinister plot. Let’s see how long until it unfolds.

-Maisha Shahid

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