Fuck USC. Let’s Make Our Own Sex Scandal.

Posted: March 30, 2011 by jerkmag in VICES -- sex, drugs & alcohol, ZONE -- syracuse
Tags: , , , ,

Don’t let USC take the lead in voyeurism.

Someone had sex on a roof. Wait, why does this qualify as news? Regardless, a brother of the Kappa Sigma fraternity at the University of Southern California fucked some chick on top of an academic building, and of course, someone with the perfect view happened to have a camera and documented the whole shebang (pun intended). I hope he wore a Trojan. Okay, enough with the puns, but that got me thinking about the best places to hook up at Syracuse. If you’re into that sort of thing and don’t mind the possibility of a scandal, try one of these:

1. Bird Library: Obviously. I would recommend one of the top “quiet floors” although I know the hollow paper-mache tree on the second floor by all the sleeping Asians looks quite enticing. Just don’t bring a screamer.

2.     A random classroom in the basement of the Physics Building: Some of the classroom doors actually lock. If you get caught, just lie about your experiment regarding inertia or momentum … or something.

3.  The Joyce Hergenhan Auditorium (a.k.a. The Herg): Pretty much only Newhouse kids come into Newhouse, and they know where they’re going for the most part. As long as you check the schedule carefully, no one should bother you. The room also comes with some seriously high-tech lighting controls, so you can set the mood.

4. The Downstairs Bathrooms in HBC: Most people, including myself, refuse to pee in HBC. If you don’t mind the cracked tiles, broken faucets, and peculiar smell, go get some sweet lovin’.

Photo Credit: Imgur

-Christina Sterbenz

Comments
  1. Sneaky Sophomore says:

    The PRSSA office……..if you have a key……..

  2. […] Library may be a good place to have sex, but it’s not so hot for studying. No offense to E.S. Bird, whoever the hell he was, but I […]

  3. […] way to overlook and fully appreciate the beer-saturated masses on Euclid than by having sex on a roof? When it’s time to bust, grab that super-long beer funnel and surprise someone at the other […]

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