What do a “Pep Talk,” a box of chocolate and a condom have in common?

Posted: March 4, 2011 by jerkmag in VAULT -- archives
Tags: , , ,

Sakyong Mipham once stated, “Like gravity, karma is so basic we often don’t even notice it.” However, we are fully aware of what a bitch karma can be when things aren’t going our way! Therefore, here are some ideas to get on karma’s good side.
March is finally upon us, which means that you will only be living with your neighbors for just a few more weeks! That statement will either elicit a feeling of sorrow or a feeling of joy. Either way, maintaining good relations with those around you ensures that vindictive neighbors will not interrupt your daily routine and life.
Here are a few of my suggestions in order to keep the peace:

• A check-in note: After a long and challenging day, it’s great to be welcomed home with a handwritten (or typed) note from a neighbor. Having given and received notes, I know that I, along with my neighbors, are appreciative of the time someone took out of their busy day in order to make you feel better. Even if you leave a little note on someone’s white board, you never know what kind of impact it will have on them!

• A sweet surprise: Who doesn’t enjoy the taste of some chocolate? Leaving a snack for someone will most definitely be a welcomed gift for anyone who is coming in after a busy week. If you’re unable to leave the present in the person’s room, attach a little, “Come see me note” or something similar (…this could turn sexual). For Valentine’s Day, my neighbors and I left lollipops and a foil-wrapped candy on each other’s doors, which we fastened on with tape. As Rachel Ray has said time and again, “The way to anyone’s anything is through their stomach.”

• Wrap it up!: One of the most memorable presents that I have ever seen affixed to anyone’s door was over a dozen brightly colored condoms that had been arranged in a particular way (interpret that as you may). Use your creativity! Urban Outfitters sells fetch little notes that either encourage or disparage the receiver depending on their behavior. Leaving a little “Pep Talk” note or even a contraceptive will be a welcomed surprise for your neighbor when they return. Especially with the contraceptive, it will most likely be well received (again, you catch my drift).

As Spring approaches and the uplifting weather (I’m being optimistic) arrives, channel all that glee into surprising your neighbors with a little “thinking of you” note or gift. Not only will this create stronger relationships between you and your neighbors, but you just never know what surprising and wonderful things you may get in return! Avoid karma and give!

…If for some reason you absolutely abhor your neighbors, disregard all 500 words of this and go about giving everyone the stink eye as you anxiously await May.

– Jon Gregalis

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Comments
  1. Jillian says:

    i recognize those condoms….

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