Oh, how I would love to get my hands on you. I am a devoted Patriots fan; I love the team and I love football. But most of all, I love when Tom takes off his helmet as he steps onto the sidelines and unleashes you! You bounce and flounce around although you are dripping with sweat from an incredibly good-looking man. What I would give to reach out and touch you, just once. And what I would give to slap your owner in the face sometimes so he’ll stop throwing interceptions and blowing the game!
P.S. Don’t let Tom listen to any of those biddies who are trying to persuade him to buzz you off. I like you just the way you are.