The Next Right-Wing Crusade: God Hates Shrimp!

Posted: February 21, 2010 by Katie in SAGE -- editor's picks
Tags: , , , , ,

God doesn’t only hate gays. He also hates shellfish, mussels, shaved beards, and wearing fabrics of blended fibers (Leviticus). God Hates Shrimp was started by gay rights activists to remind God-fearing Christians they can’t ignore the parts of the Bible they find inconvenient. If it truly is the word of God, it’s time to crusade against Red Lobster, not just gay marriage.

god hates shrimp protestGod spells it out pretty clearly:

Leviticus 11:9-12:
9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

Fred Phelps, mighty leader of the “God Hates Fags” protests, you sir, are living in sin. Put down that Long John Silver’s popcorn shrimp basket and let your beard grow free… ’cause you have God’s wrath to deal with.

Comments
  1. Kate says:

    I think I actually respect these guys more than the pick and choose Christianity, not to say that I don’t think they’re all nuts, but at least these guys are consistently nuts.

  2. Katie says:

    Yeah, it’s actually made by activists to point out the hypocrisy of the “God Hates Fags” crazies.

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