You know you’ve reached the height of sexual frustration when….

Posted: February 18, 2010 by farrahmones in VICES -- sex, drugs & alcohol
Tags: , , ,
  • So over fantasizing. GIVE ME SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT, DAMMIT!

    So over fantasizing. GIVE ME SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT, DAMMIT!

    You’re so bored with everything on SpankWire that you’ve actually considered watching the Brother-Sister cams.

  • Amateur music videos in your film production class turn you on.
  • You dry hump your pillow.
  • You stop smoking weed because it just makes you horny.
  • You start thinking “I wonder how he’d be in bed…” about every single male you encounter.
  • You can’t even LOOK at guys wearing tight pants. Or sweatpants. Or any pants. In fact, you can’t even look at a guy below the waist without imagining his cock in your mouth.
  • You feel stupid wearing your sexy underwear – what’s the point?
  • You start keeping your vibrator in your pillowcase for easy access.
  • Looking at your lonely condom stash makes you want to cry.
  • Putting in a tampon feels kind of good.

Please go get laid, and think of me while you’re at it.

~Farrah Moans

Comments
  1. Anita Greencard says:

    Sad, friend, sad. Though it makes me want to have sex too.

  2. Bobert says:

    Humping your pillow–now that DEFINITELY screams “long distance relationship.”

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