Lunch date with an international student

Posted: February 11, 2010 by jerkmagblog in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Who's this handsome devil?

Who's this handsome devil?

At the Institut d’Etudes Politiques, or Sciences Po of Strasbourg, the girls outnumber the guys 10 to 1.

Feeling that Lady Luck was with me one day, I decided to ask this one girl out to lunch. What could be the harm in sharing some good old cafeteria food? (Secret Milillo trait I picked up from my Uncle Angelo, may he rest in peace: when asking a girl out, for example, to the movies, tell her specifically to meet you at the concessions’ stand).

I met her at the student cafeteria on the corner by the tramway stop and we went in. We stood in line, placed the food on our trays, paid separately, and sat down. Crowded. Noisy. Cheap food. This girl had no idea what she was in for.

We started to converse with the usual college platitudes. I went on speaking and occasionally looked up from my food, patiently feigning interest in what I was actually speaking about when I looked up and was met by her eyes. As soon as we locked eyes- in the midst of my absentminded parlance, her eyes widened to a size I remember seeing on the body of a giant squid. She dropped her fork and threw her hands over her mouth as if she were trying to slap herself.

I didn’t stop to question what was wrong, that would be the conscientious thing to do. Instead I went on talking, until she screamed. “Oh my God, your face is bleeding!”

Of course I was skeptical, thanks to WesLogic® I assumed she was manic/schizophrenic/loony/etc. Then it crossed my mind that I did, in fact, cut my self shaving this morning. I dabbed my chin and was beyond embarrassed to find the top of my hand drenched in a vivid crimson. I blotted and blotted and blotted, the people sitting around me were staring and I think I saw one guy even start to gag.

Think Ben Stiller’s sweating scene from “Along Came Polly.” After many napkins and apologies, I picked up my dignity off the floor and attempted conversation again- an arduous attempt to say the least.

I salvaged what was left of the day-date and ended it quickly. I assured her that she may have been disgusted (as was I), but it would be a lunch she would never forget. She forced herself to say that she had a ‘good time.’ Whatever. Il y a beaucoup de poissons dans la mer.

“Well, I’d like to do this again sometime; you’re a really nice girl.”
“Should I bring along a first aid kit?”

~Wesley Milillo

Comments
  1. Brendan says:

    My friend Jim and I love reading your stories. They relax us after a long day at the office.

  2. vie says:

    hi wes..found u by accident..a great entry though..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s