They Put Crack In These Doughnuts

Posted: March 19, 2009 by Cindia G. Leonard in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Hot. Now.

Last week was spring break and I took a trip to North Carolina with my boyfriend, Zach, and our friend Justin.  The trip was really an excuse to eat all the foods from back home that we really miss.  In the last post I kind of slammed the cuisine in Syracuse, NY.  In my opinion it sucks and there is no variety.

In North Carolina we stuffed our faces with food from all over, especially Hispanic and Indian food and home-style cooking.  It was awesome.  The thing that really turned me out was tasting those sweet little doughnuts from Krispy Kreme.

I know what doughnuts most people eat in Syracuse, fucking Dunkin’ Donuts.  I mean, I guess when you don’t know any better you’ll eat any ol’ shit.  I just want you guys to know that Krispy Kreme is where it’s at.  They put crack in those doughnuts and it is so delicious.

Let me tell you about some Krispy Kreme.  See they have this big sign that lights up when they start making doughnuts.  It reads “Hot Now.”  That’s how you know the shit is on.  I equate seeing the “Hot Now” sign to when the Three Wise Men were traveling through the desert and were lost until they saw the North Star shining bright.  The sign is like that beacon of hope, leading the blind to sweet salvation.  It’s a religious experience.


The writer having a Krispy Kreme induced orgasm.

When they are hot, it’s like Jesus came in your mouth.  It’s a little bit of heaven inside of you.  Krispy Kreme original glaze doughnuts are made of an airy batter that is deep-fried and glazed right before your eyes on a little conveyor belt.  Human hands never touch the doughnut, so it reaches your mouth completely perfect.  After it comes out of the deep fry the belt moves it under a waterfall of hot glaze.  It is so sexy to watch it that sometimes I like to fantasize about going under the glaze waterfall butt-naked.  Sexy, sexy glaze.

It is so hot and perfect that the people at Krispy Kreme have to lift up the doughnuts with little sticks as to not dimple the surface.  That’s craftsmanship.  It melts in your mouth when you bite in.  I can eat one doughnut in about 3 big bites.  A dozen can be lethal.  You eat the dozen so fast that you forget what’s happened.  I call it “doughnut sadness.”  It’s the remorse you feel after you realize you’ve eaten a whole fucking box of doughnuts, a dozen to be precise, with no aid.  Where did they go?

Luckily I avoided the doughnut sadness this break by curving my intake to just two.  It was the hardest thing I’ve done in months.

– Cindia Gonzalez

  1. Liam says:

    These are delicious. The northeast did have a bunch of KK franchises earlier this decade – they just all closed within two years of opening. Too much of a good thing I suppose.

  2. cindiagonzalez says:

    I’ve seen the abandoned Kripy Kreme building in Syracuse. It is so sad. What went wrong?

  3. Liam says:

    I think they expanded too quickly…people got sick of ’em I suppose.

  4. Katie says:

    Word, I love these doughnuts. My local Krispy Kreme also closed recently. Sad! Keep the memory alive.

  5. Greg says:

    I miss Krispy Kreme so much. I miss the South : (

  6. cindiagonzalez says:

    Greg, I feel your pain. I thought the north was going to be all big city charm. I didn’t know that it’s actually really freaking cold and there aren’t any hot doughnuts.

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