Hey Mom, Today I Made a New Friend!

Posted: March 17, 2009 by Nancy Mucciarone in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

This may be one of the best days ever. Absolut Vodka wants to be my friend. And your friend. And the homeless man on Marshall Street’s friend. And your booty call who refuses to speak to you during day time hours’ friend. And your waste-case of a friend who gets drunk at Harry’s and then flirts with older men’s friend. One of the most successful and famous brands of vodka wants to be buddy-buddy with all of us. I feel so cool, it’s like Chuck Norris just friended me on Facebook.

Just last week, Absolut Vodka launched its “Recognize the Moment” campaign, which motivates drinkers (21 plus, of course) to recognize when it’s time to say no to another drink, driving home, or texting your ex-boyfriend to tell him you’re still in love with him. They also want party goers to say “YES!” (fist pump) to drinking in a responsible way.

The online campaign includes videos of vodka drinkers talking about their views on responsible drinking, information on people’s tolerances and the effects of alcohol, and, my personal favorite, “Text the Moment.” Through Text the Moment, anyone can arrange Absolut to send them a text message at a specific time telling them any specific message. Basically, Absolut wants to be THAT friend that tears you off of the bar, tells you to put your clothes back on, and insists that you get a sober driver home.

While this is a good idea in theory, I have to wonder how well it will actually work on a campus like Syracuse. This is how I picture it going down:

A student knows she will be going out and getting wild Thursday night after a rough breakup with Andrew, her long-term boo. She arranges for text the moment to shoot her a message at 2:30am saying, “Pull up your shirt, you’re not getting with that guy you’ve been all over all night. Put down that shot of Captain and call a cab. Immediately.”

After six rounds of Jose and seconds before a shot of Captain, the student feels a vibrate in her pocket, and pulls out her phone to read her text from her good friend Absolut. After squinting her glazed eyes at the screen for a few minutes, the student thinks she’s properly interpreted the message. “I think it’s Andrew,” she says to her equally wasted friend next to her. “He says he wants me to take off my shirt and make out with the cab driver.”

“Screw him,” her friend says. “Now lets take that shot.”

Nice try Absolut, but no cigar. Next time try hiring Chuck Norris to personally deliver these messages. I know I’d listen.

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