Leotards: The only motivation in my life

Posted: February 19, 2009 by Cindia G. Leonard in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I’m obsessed with American Apparel.

After so many months drooling over their crap on the internet I finally got a chance to shop in their store.  Online the clothes always looked too small for me.  If I could just try it on in person then I would know if my fat ass could actually squeeze into the “intimates” and “one-pieces.”


Sex. Sex. Sex.

Surprise, surprise.  I only barely fit into their largest size, XL.  Most of the clothes at AA don’t even go up to a size L.  I’m lucky they were sweet enough to consider me.  I squeeze into this leotard, asphalt grey, and look pretty fucking hot.  It’s tight enough to keep everything in its place and my boobs are small enough to not have to worry about the bra situation.

Six months later, thanks to the anxiety of grad school, my ass is totally busting out of my leotard.  My other clothes, that weren’t bought at AA, barely fit on my newer, slightly fatter, body.

I’m sure the idea of loosing 10+ lbs. to anyone else would seem an incredible feat.  But I have no discipline and I love to eat.

I’ve been fat all my life.  I’m always straddling the line between obese and just overweight.  I’ve kind of stopped caring about it but when you are already considered fat by most people in the world and then you gain a couple extra,well, it isn’t cute. 

So this is my dilemma.  How do I lose weight when I hate the idea of the gym and working out, refuse to go on a diet, and have no self-control?  You tell me.  I’m just a real fat girl trying to make it in a world obsessed with weight and image.

For the next few months I’ll keep writing weekly about my struggles and triumphs when it comes to weight.  Who knows?  Perhaps by the end of the semester I might have actually lost some weight.  I’ll hold my head up high at our commencement, proud and thinner.  Or maybe I won’t lost that weight and there is always a possibility that I might gain more.  Won’t this be fun?


-Cindia Gonzalez

cindia vs. sandwich

That's me. Trying to make love to a pastrami on rye.

  1. zac cummings says:

    that’s one sexy pastrami sandwich

  2. cindiagonzalez says:

    You’re looking at about a pound of hot meat on that sandwich.

    Girls love hot meat.

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