At Least These Students Didn’t Get Botched Implants…

Posted: February 16, 2009 by Nancy Mucciarone in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Has anyone else been wondering where all the pictures of uneven boobs and saggy stomachs have been on PerezHilton.com lately? Apparently the reason behind this madness is because drunkard Tara Reid has been cooped up for 60 days in rehab at Promise’s in Malibu (how many times has she been in rehab??) and is “finally clean.” Yeah….right.

Tara Reid Extreme Nip SlipClick here for funny video clips

While the worst thing Tara has ever done while intoxicated is flash her cellulite-y ass to on looking paparazzi and have a nip-slip on the red carpet in front of multiple TV cameras, Syracuse students have not been so lucky. In fact, in the past weekend alone (that’s only three days), I’ve witnessed or heard about some pretty crazy shit that’s happened to the inebriated students. So here it is, kids: my list of the three funniest drunk moments of the weekend. Laugh at them, turn red with embarrassment, tell your grandchildren… just please don’t try them at home.

3) A girl and an f-buddy came home early Friday night to do the dirty. After they were finished, the passed out – completely naked. A few hours later, the girl’s roommate drunkily sleepwalked into her room, grabbed the blankets off of the naked couple, and passed out on the floor right beneath them. While I’m not sure who woke up first, either way, somebody felt significantly awkward in the morning.

2) After a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner and one two many glasses of wine, a girl and her boyfriend headed back to her dorm room for some good old fashioned drunk sex. Turns out she was a little too wasted to function, so the two used some lube she had lying around (who has lube lying around??). Things got a little too rowdy as he was doing her from behind, and all of a sudden, she rolled over in the fetal position and started crying. The reason? Accidental buttsex.

1) A guy brought his girlfriend home for the first time to meet his parents. After a night of heavy drinking, the two came back to the guy’s house – staying in separate bedrooms – and went to sleep. A few hours later, the guy heard mortified screams coming from his parent’s bedroom. Apparently his girlfriend had wandered into their bedroom, pants around her ankles, and tried to pee on their carpet…awkward.

–Nancy Mucciarone

This probably isn't the best look for the boyfriend's parents...take warning;)

This probably isn't the best look for the boyfriend's parents...take warning;)

Comments
  1. kaallyn says:

    Jesus Christ! hahaha. Who wrote this?

  2. kabenn03 says:

    those are by far the best drunken stories I have ever heard

  3. tbf says:

    hilarious! but i think number 2 happens to everybody at some point in their lives…

  4. Katie says:

    Although it may have happened to you, tbf, I refuse to believe it must happen to all of us. I’m just sayin.

  5. zac cummings says:

    number is my favorite…especially if they were all black out drunk. awkward.

  6. zac cummings says:

    that should have said “number 3”. oops

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