Wank Does Dublin

Posted: October 28, 2008 by jerkmag in VAULT -- archives
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Want a fool-proof conversation starter? Wear a shirt with the words “Do you Jerk in private?” along the back in a foreign country known for its rowdy, drunken antics.

This is just one of the many things I learned when Liam McCabe, London blogger and fellow JERK, and I met up for a fabulous, drunken five days in Dublin, Ireland. We spent our days being somewhat educational by touring the Guinness Factory, finding historical bridges named after Liam, and exploring Dublin’s many cultural offerings. Then, after the requisite late afternoon nap, we spent each night exploring the heart and soul of Dublin… the bars.
On Saturday night, myself, Liam, and Liam’s girlfriend, Natalie, decided to be really Irish-y and look for a “trad” bar, as the locals call it – somewhere that plays traditional Irish music. We started off at Dublin’s famed Temple Bar – think Chuck’s, were Chuck’s world-famous and had a stunning collection of booze on display. A group of none-too-discreet Brits took several photos of my shirt, which I didn’t realize until I remembered what my shirt said on the back. As we were heading out of the overly crowded and expensive bar, a pair of older Dutch men (who had earlier made a pass at Natalie) pulled me into an uncomfortable embrace and started rambling about my shirt saying the word “JERK” on it. Needless to say, we bolted and headed somewhere less crowded and touristy.

Which is when, at the advice of our hostel director, we came upon The Celt. A small, wood-covered space farther off Dublin’s main drag, The Celt was instantly cozy, and the lively guitars and vocals of the local band made the space more than inviting. With pints of Guinness for just five Euro, we knew we’d be staying. Pints in hand, the three of us looked around for seating, asking a gentleman sitting at a booth if the seats around the table were open. He smiled and politely moved over so we could all sit down. He quickly introduced himself as Damien, a Scotsman living in Ireland. Yes, that means we only understood about every fifth word he said. Nevertheless, he was amicable, and more and more friendly the more he drank. Whenever the band would play a particularly traditional-sounding song, he would put his hands behind his back, and bounce his head and shoulders back and forth as if he were dancing an Irish jig. Maybe you had to be there, but we thought it was hilarious.

(from left) Liam, Natalie, Damien (looking MUCH younger than he does in person) and Sunni a few pints in at The Celt.

(from left) Liam, Natalie, Damien (looking MUCH younger than he does in person) and Sunni a few pints in at The Celt.

By the end of the evening, he was continually inching closer to me, as Liam and Natalie laughed at his inebriated, shy attempts to make a pass. Towards the end of the night (and after I’d already chatted with several other bar patrons about why the hell I was wearing that shirt), Damien finally asked what my shirt meant. Liam and I explained that it was a magazine we write for, and Damien blushed and said he’d better not end up as an article. Liam and I made an effort to explain the whole Jerk-as-a-verb philosophy, but Damien just replied: “Y’know, here we call it wanking.”

~ Sunnivie Brydum

Comments
  1. Katie says:

    Bahaha now I’m definitely wearing my Jerk shirt while abroad.
    Isn’t it beautiful? … Turns out masturbation is unifying force in this crazy world.

  2. […] Sunni mentioned a few weeks back, we spent a weekend in Dublin boozin’ and sightseeing, often both at once. Well, maybe there’s […]

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