Canadians Are a Sneaky Bunch

Who doesn’t love a good fail? It would seem that some paranoid individuals decided to report some people with flashlights out on a late night stroll.  That seems fair, they could’ve been up to no good, but what was going through the cops mind when he or she wrote the report? 

I don’t know whether to be more interested in what these people could be doing with flashlights other than shining them at things, or how being Canadian excuses you from engaging in suspicious activities.

[FAIL Blog]

~Beckett Noyes

Trekkie Speaks Only Klingon to Child For First 3 Years of It’s Life

This may have been how the child ended up if his father hadn't STOPPED speaking Klingon to him. Damn trekkies.

d’Armond Speers loves Star Trek, children, and apparently linguistics because he decided to only speak Klingon to his child for the first 3 years of its life.

According to Speers, he “was interested in the question of whether my son, going through his first language acquisition process, would acquire it like any human language.”  It makes sense, considering it’s a fully functional language, but it seems like Spanish, or maybe even Mandarin, would’ve been a better choice for the experiment.

Dog + Tony Hawk = AWESOMENESS!

Everybody knows dogs can already skateboard, but I bet you didn’t know they could play skateboarding video games. This little bulldog has got some seriously impressive moves, he does a 360!

“Tony Hawk: Ride”, the newest installment in the popular skateboarding simulator, provides a board shaped controller (in the next move towards just getting people to actually go out and skateboard).

Robert Pattinson Might Actually Have Some Acting Skills

I don’t understand why Twilight exists.  It might have to do with the fact that I’m a guy (so I’m not exactly the target audience), that the take on vampire lore seems extremely flawed (they have glittery skin in the daylight… they can go out in daylight!), or maybe that Kristen Stewart feels the need to bite her lip every five seconds.  All I can say is that based on the trailer of Pattinson’s new movie, Remember Me,  Twilight’s epic fail might not be entirely his (and his stylist’s) fault. [YouTube]

~Beckett Noyes

Here’s Looking at You, Kid

I don’t know if I’ve ever watched a black and white movie before because a movie without color kind of seems unnatural to me. That is, until I got to watch Casablanca in class.

It was as good as everyone says it is. Most of the accents were pretty horrible, but otherwise it was a classic love story about a guy that I wish existed in real life.

What is Going on With Lady Gaga?

Lady Gaga’s new video “Bad Romance” is ridiculous. I honestly couldn’t have expected anything less, especially since her crazies at the VMAs.

Was there a marketing and PR (don’t forget her costume designers) meeting early in her career when someone said, “Let’s make you as absurd as we possibly can?”  She seems to be popular enough, but I don’t know if its even remotely safe for the mental well being of little kids to watch her music videos.

[via Daily Mail]

~Beckett Noyes

Batman: The Dark…Pedophile?

Here’s a shocker…writers make mistakes, or in this case, unintentional faux pas. Considering the 70 year history of Batman, something like this panel doesn’t seem too out of line given the thousands of words that have been written on the Dark Knight.

Having a sidekick means you’re going to come into physical contact with him (or her), but within the context of every other superhero in the scene being concerned over a women, this comes across as curiously homoerotic.

File this under unintentionally hilarious.

[via yesbutnobutyes]

~Beckett Noyes

How to star in a comic: lessons learned from The Twilight Saga author

Have no fear, Stephenie Meyer is here!

Last week Female Force comic book released a biography of The Twilight Saga author Stephenie Meyer. According to ComicsAlliance, the 28-page snoozer tells the story of how Meyer “grew up in the Southwest, got married, had kids, wrote some books about vampires and got rich.”

For those of you like myself, who read Meyer’s four-book saga, this news might make you say, “WTF? She’s the subject of an entire comic book?”

I’m not going to lie. I love The Twilight Saga. I’ve read all four books, own the DVD, have plans to see New Moon next week and am listening to the Twilight soundtrack (my younger sister burned me her friends’ copy) as I write this.

But, I adamantly proclaim that Meyer sucks at writing. She can tell a story, but the technical deliverance is another issue. Therefore, this comic book news made me realize, if Meyer can star in a comic book, so can I.

Please Don’t Pee in The Amazon River…

Feel free to pee into it, but for the love of any higher power of your choosing please just don’t relieve yourself while waist deep in the water.  If you do this, you may receive a visit from the Candiru fish.

This little guy has the nasty habit of seeking out other fish by the presence of excreted ammonia and urea, then burrowing into the gills using sharp barbs and drinking off the fish’s blood.  If you couldn’t piece this together already, urine contains exactly what attracts the Candiru and the urethra is an amazingly accessible space for it to occupy.  

Ladies and gentlemen, you have been warned.

[via Cracked]

~Beckett Noyes

Tramp Stamps Aren’t Cl’ASS’y

I’m sorry, but no amount of fancy calligraphy is going to make the words “Cum Slutt” acceptable to have anywhere on your body (or, does the extra ‘T” make it fancier?).  I guess we should just think of it as her personal public service announcement.

Please don't partake in any activity of this kind, EVER.