Facebook Fail: Engaged Woman Publicly Invites Man into “Cave Between Her Legs”

This woman is at least 40 years old… Further proof that the elderly  should not be on Facebook. No word yet on how her fiance feels about this.

What I Wish I Knew…

Make sure you address the issue of STD’s BEFORE you decide to shack up with someone–or else you and your finds could end up finding out on Facebook.

FML, Mom and Dad are on Facebook

“CONGRATULATIONS! YOUR PARENTS JUST JOINED FACEBOOK. YOUR LIFE IS OFFICIALLY OVER.”

Have your parents posted and tagged embarrassing pictures of you on Facebook yet? If not, then get ready--because it's bound to happen.

You can find solace with this on a new website: www.myparentsjoinedfacebook.com. Now-a-days, there’s some kind of comfort group for the slightest of troubles. Who would have ever thought that a new generation of Facebook users could cause such a stir?

Evidently, it has. Low and behold we are left with this web-site to gain some reassurance in the fact there are other people out there, just like us, who don’t want their parents on Facebook.

~The Jerks

Eagles “Can” Their Man…Then Their Fan

In late February, the Philidelphia Eagles made the decision to let safety Brian Dawkins sign with the Denver Broncos.  Very few of the city’s football fans were happy to see Dawkins go, as he was a fan favorite and often considered one of the key elements of the Eagles’ defense.  I’m sure that relatively innocent moans and groans of malcontent could be heard at water coolers and watering holes across the city.  But according to the Philadelphia Inquirer and subsequently ESPN.com, one fan’s comments on his Facebook status cost him his job.

The Facebook page of Dan Leone, a Philly resident who obviously has a love/hate relationship with the city’s NFL team, displayed proudly that, ”Dan is f***ing devastated about Dawkins signing with Denver…Dam Eagles R Retarded!!”  Days later, our man Dan got a phone call from his boss letting him know that his services would no longer be needed.  The string that ties all of this together?  (You’re on the edge of your seat, I can tell.)  Leone was an Eagles stadium operations employee.

Hey Mom, Today I Made a New Friend!

This may be one of the best days ever. Absolut Vodka wants to be my friend. And your friend. And the homeless man on Marshall Street’s friend. And your booty call who refuses to speak to you during day time hours’ friend. And your waste-case of a friend who gets drunk at Harry’s and then flirts with older men’s friend. One of the most successful and famous brands of vodka wants to be buddy-buddy with all of us. I feel so cool, it’s like Chuck Norris just friended me on Facebook.

Just last week, Absolut Vodka launched its “Recognize the Moment” campaign, which motivates drinkers (21 plus, of course) to recognize when it’s time to say no to another drink, driving home, or texting your ex-boyfriend to tell him you’re still in love with him. They also want party goers to say “YES!” (fist pump) to drinking in a responsible way.

The online campaign includes videos of vodka drinkers talking about their views on responsible drinking, information on people’s tolerances and the effects of alcohol, and, my personal favorite, “Text the Moment.” Through Text the Moment, anyone can arrange Absolut to send them a text message at a specific time telling them any specific message. Basically, Absolut wants to be THAT friend that tears you off of the bar, tells you to put your clothes back on, and insists that you get a sober driver home.

While this is a good idea in theory, I have to wonder how well it will actually work on a campus like Syracuse. This is how I picture it going down:

Kimberley Swann Is No Longer Listed as Employed

The Daily Mail Online reports that a 16-year-old Essex girl was fired for complaining about her job on Facebook.

“But while other 16-year-olds might have confided in friends and family about the filing, stapling and hole-punching, she decided to let off steam by posting comments on social networking website Facebook,” the article reports. Yes, other 16-year-olds that lived six years ago may have complained to friends and family. I’d like to welcome you to 2009, Daily Mail. We have the internet on phones now!

So just what kind of graphic, expletive-ridden smut was she spewing about her employer?

“first day at work,” she posted. “omg!! So dull!!’

The horror continues: