Words o’ Wisdom: Buddy the Elf Edition

“Looks like a Christmas tree.” 

-Buddy the Elf

Words o’ Wisdom: Tucker Max Gives Law Advice

“Do you want to waste three years of your life debating stupid and utterly irrelevant minutia? Then yes, get your JD. Do you want to get a degree that allows you work the rest of your life in a tedious, shitty, unrewarding job? Then yes, get your JD. Are you a boring, facile, socially retarded whore, desperate for the illusion of money and success, regardless of the cost to your life and the lives of those you love? Then yes, get your JD.”

-Tucker Max

Fuck You, I Like My UGGs

Gotta love 'em.

I’m really tired of people judging me because I wear UGGs. Screw you and your dumb stereotypes. I’m sick of being grouped in with snobby girls who use Daddy’s credit card to buy this season’s fashionable pair of Australia’s finest shoe.

My parents work hard to earn some extra cash for Christmastime when my siblings and I each get one big gift to unwrap from “Santa.” One year, my big gift were a pair of short, brown UGGs. I don’t think I’m entitled because I choose to wear these expensive shoes—I don’t really think much about it at all.

It probably hasn’t occurred to some of you yet, but not everyone who owns a pair of these cozy shoes wears them during the summer months with a denim skirt. Some of us actually wear them for warmth and comfort. Crazy, huh?

Words o’ Wisdom: Shut Up Edition

“The poor girl does not know how to have a conversation. Unfortunately, she does know how to speak.”

-Winston Churchill

Words o’ Wisdom: Eat Eggs This Morning Edition

“Although I cannot lay an egg, I am a very good judge of omelettes”

-George Bernard Shaw

Words o’ Wisdom: Happy Halloween Edition

“Oh man, how come it’s always the ugly chicks that stay out late?”
-Hocus Pocus

Words o’ Wisdom: When in Doubt, Insult the Editor Edition

“I’m going to forcefully sodomize your editor.”

-John Mayer

Words o’ Wisdom: Tuesday Edition

“Let me tell you folks, I got my work cut out for me.”

-David Letterman

Goin’ Back to the Throwbacks: Smelly Cat Edition

Here’s a pick me up for the day. Who doesn’t love Friends, and more specifically, who doesn’t LOVE Pheobe’s “Smelly Cat?”

Send your favorite throwbacks to jerkmagblog@gmail.com if you want to see them posted!

~The Jerks

Words ‘o Wisdom: Happy Weekend Edition

“You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.”

-Wedding Crashers