DAFT Presents: Whack Ass Dieting Tips (But Helpful Nonetheless.)

The holidays are quickly approaching, and college students everywhere are trying to lose the weight they gained from Ramen, booze and Kimmel. The last thing anyone wants to do is have to go home and run into an ex being fifteen or so pounds heavier than the last time he or she saw you. So [...]

‘Millionaire Matchmaker’ — A Lesson In Being Shallow

I’ve caught myself lately tuning into “Millionaire Matchmaker,” a show on Bravo that does exactly what the title suggests. Mere mortals like myself, who have a lot less than a million dollars to their name, are given the opportunity to be hooked up with millionaires, who for some reason couldn’t find love for themselves. But [...]

Stealing from the Girl Scouts — Has It Come to This?

I question humanity sometimes, I really do. Two men in Bowie, Maryland are wanted for stealing money from the Girl Scouts after reportedly asking them how much their cookies were. Seriously? The Girl Scouts? You’re that much of a panzy that you have to go and steal from the Girl Scouts? It would be one [...]

Grocery Store Etiquette: To Eat or Not to Eat?

You’ve been there before. It’s a Sunday afternoon, you’re at Wegmans, and let’s face it, you’re a little hungry. What’s so wrong about taking a few bites of a soon to be paid for bagel? Call me a fat ass, but I do that kind of thing all the time–have a few grapes while I’m [...]

Your Newest Addiction: Mug Shot Matchup

Looking for a better way to waste your time? Is Facebook just not cutting it these days? Well, this isn’t much better–but it’s more fun than getting bitter about how your friends didn’t invite you out last night. Here’s a friendly reminder that it could always be worse. Introducing, the “Mug Shot Matchup Game.” You’re [...]

World’s Worst Halloween Costume: Anna Rexia

As the great Cady Heron once said, “In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” Well, DreamGirl costume manufacturers decided to take that statement, put it in a blender with an eating disorder and [...]

Sprinkles: A Breakthrough In Weight-loss?

How many times since its opening last year have you uttered the words, “Yeah, I’ll go to Chipotle with you…but I’m not getting anything?” Now, how many times have you actually stayed true to your word? Chances are, you haven’t. You end up being lured by the smell, the menu, and the fact that you [...]

The Legacy of Kardashian Music Videos

What’s that? You didn’t know that the Kardashians also did music videos? Don’t worry, no one else did either. Back in the eighties, Kris Jenner (then Kris Kardashian) made a Rebecca Black-style music video dedicated to her friends on her thirtieth birthday. All I can really say about this, is who makes their friends a [...]

Spay-On Condoms for the Not-So-Endowed

Jan Vinzenz Krause, a German inventor, has solved every man’s issue with condom wrappers. Why spoil the mood unwrapping the thing when you can simply spray it on? Well, I’ll tell you right now, because it’s freakin’ weird. But, I’ll provide the information anyway. It’s especially handy for the not-so-endowed men we unfortunately might run [...]

Post-College Dream Job: Frat House Custodian. No, Seriously.

If you find yourself graduating college and realize that all you have to show for these past four years is a beer gut, failed classes and little to no career plans, then consider looking for a job no further than the places responsible for your lack of aspirations: frat houses. Kia Grasty, a 51-year-old frat [...]