Don't Mess With The Amish!

Rednecks get a bad rep. But, when you partake in things like lawn mower racing, all of the jokes are warranted. Yes, lawn mower racing actually exists and it isn’t just going on in places like Fugeeswitzchneiter, Switzerland. The U.S. Lawn Mower Racing Association just moved to Northbrook, Illinois.

In last week’s blog, I complained about how wack most NASCAR lovers are. I would consider this sport along the same lines, except it must be much cheaper. Think go-karts. Owners have horsepower engines that can propel them up to 60 miles per hour around a two-mile course.

Remember in Star Wars when Sebulba whipped out that crazy blade thing on the side of his pod racer? (Shut uuupp. I know.) Guys in lawn mower racing could take it to another level. The blades on mowers could do some serious damage.

That reminds me. I just spoke of go-kart racing. When I used to live in western Maryland and West Virginia, myself and a friend of mine used to go out to this country-ass area and go go-karting. It was your typical carnival area, except Amish people overran it. I got nothing against them, but when they would see the racetrack, they went nuts.

“We can actually drive? Woooooo!” I’ve never been so scared in my life. They were like running people off the track, banging their cars against little kids– their mothers with the video cameras screaming at them. They were out there acting like Tony Stewart, running their mouths and causing a ruckus.

I imagine lawn mower racing must be of the same vein. If I ever were to go get involved, I would never mess around with the Amish. They might pull out the blade and send me flying off the track.

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