Last week Female Force comic book released a biography of The Twilight Saga author Stephenie Meyer. According to ComicsAlliance, the 28-page snoozer tells the story of how Meyer “grew up in the Southwest, got married, had kids, wrote some books about vampires and got rich.”
For those of you like myself, who read Meyer’s four-book saga, this news might make you say, “WTF? She’s the subject of an entire comic book?”
I’m not going to lie. I love The Twilight Saga. I’ve read all four books, own the DVD, have plans to see New Moon next week and am listening to the Twilight soundtrack (my younger sister burned me her friends’ copy) as I write this.
But, I adamantly proclaim that Meyer sucks at writing. She can tell a story, but the technical deliverance is another issue. Therefore, this comic book news made me realize, if Meyer can star in a comic book, so can I.
What I’ve learned from Meyer:
1) Dream. Twilight came to Meyer in a dream. On Friday’s episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show, Meyer said that she dreamt chapter 13 of the first book and continued on writing from there. The stay-at-home mom who studied literature had never even written a short story before.
2) Aim for substance instead of quality. It’s no secret: Meyer isn’t the best writer. I actually almost didn’t finish Twilight because I couldn’t stand the shitty quality of writing that Meyer put into that book (and subsequently the rest of her novels). Seriously, if she sold 70 million copies of lackluster writing worldwide to land her own comic book, why can’t I land a deal for that book I wrote in third grade?
3) Whore books out as much as possible. Have you been to the mall lately? Borders and Hot Topic should change their names to Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, respectively. The most obscure Twilight crap is everywhere. With that kind of supply and demand it’s no wonder she has her comic book. That piece of crap will undoubtedly bring in the dough.