Workweek at Bernie’s

To pay for the programs that they’re going to put in, they’re going to have to get the money somewhere, and the unions will go after anybody who works for a living…there’s no question about it. Joe the Plumber, whatever the hell he does for a living, is going to pay for this in the [...]

The Future Of America is Looking Brighter?

Well, it’s happening. We finally have a president who understands the intrinsically important value of our planet’s environmental well-being! WOO-HOO! Who’s with me? We spoke, and for once they listened. President Obama signed the new economic recovery plan that, for the first time ever in American history, includes a huge investment in clean energy and [...]

Shaking in their Spikes

After arthroscopic knee surgery and months of rehab, Tiger Woods is back on the links this week at the WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship.  Let it be noted, first of all, that the eight-month sabbatical Woods took is well over his doctors’ original timeframe for recovery.  I can’t say I blame the guy for taking the extra time off, though.  [...]

Kimberley Swann Is No Longer Listed as Employed

The Daily Mail Online reports that a 16-year-old Essex girl was fired for complaining about her job on Facebook. “But while other 16-year-olds might have confided in friends and family about the filing, stapling and hole-punching, she decided to let off steam by posting comments on social networking website Facebook,” the article reports. Yes, other [...]

Sexy In Your Skin

Although Michael Phelps’s super-human cardiovascular stamina would indeed spice things up in the bedroom, Olympic athleticism is absolutely not a requisite for good sex. Neither are the abilities to bend yourself into circus-freak-like contortions, scream like a porn-star, drop it like a girl in a Snoop Dogg video, or balance plates on your penis. The [...]

I Hate Fat Girls

Look, I don’t really hate fat girls.  How do you hate what you are?  What I hate is when you go shopping and all the good sizes are taken.  What I mean is that all the sizes 12 and up are M.I.A.  Where the hell do they go?  I’ll tell you where they go…  All [...]

Michelle Obama Rockin’ the White House

The Obama family has already started to shake things up in Washington, and I am especially looking forward to what Michelle Obama does differently from past First Ladies. It’s finally time for, what’s the cliché? Change! (Yeah, I drink the kool-aid). With about 35 official days in office, there is much talk about what kind [...]

Hostel Horrors

I arrived in Amsterdam this weekend after a bitchingly early flight, eager to take a nap in my hostel. After what seemed like decades of wrong turns, we finally found the Marnix Hostel. The entire building was covered in white plastic and scaffolding. Not exactly the warm Dutch welcome I had hoped for. Turns out, [...]

The Magic of Mardi Gras

Armory Square hosted the world’s smallest Mardi Gras parade this weekend…so I’m told. Due to poor organization skills on our part (i.e. finding a sober and willing driver), my friends and I unceremoniously arrived downtown at 3:25 p.m. to find that the “parade” had started, paraded itself through town with beads and merriment galore, and [...]

The Miserable Ex Encounter

Hollywood is a small and twisted world. Angelina Jolie divorced Billy Bob Thorton to have six kids with Brad Pitt who left Jennifer Aniston who is now dating John Mayer who went out with Jessica Simpson who saved herself for marriage with Nick Lachey before dating Tony Romo which caused drama with his ex-girlfriend Carrie [...]