Tim Patch will get it up for you—if you give him a canvas.
The Australian-born artist has traded in the proverbial tool of most painters—the paintbrush—for something more perverted. Patch paints with his penis and does it with talent. He can paint almost anything—and probably has. Going by the pseudo name “Pricasso” Patch has mastered his “tool”, and he calls himself the only penis painter in the world—and even if he isn’t I’m sure he’s the best.
This guy has touched some famous faces like the Queen of England, George W. Bush, and Pope John Paul II, just to name a few. Wait until you see who he picked to prick this time?
I’ll give you a hint. She’s a political celebrity. She wears slick suits, rimless glasses, and a rock hard hairdo—she’s America’s favorite pit bull with lipstick. She’s Sarah Palin.
And no matter what you think of the Alaskan beauty queen turned governor, she’s certainly makes hilarious art. Patch’s take on this wolf hunting, oil loving, Alaskan mutineer is certainly far from her buttoned up image on television. But somehow I imagine “Joe six packs” across America might get a kick out of it.
Her face is stretched into a wide-toothed grin, and her hair swept back into her classic pinup hairdo. Seated on an igloo, her feet are stretched out in front of her, and rest on the antlers of a moose. Her rifle is shoved tightly between her legs—its shape a suggestion to something much more crude. It’s a hilarious caricature, and discourteous portrait—but either way, Patch can do more with his pecker than anyone I know.
The 56-year-old painter is the frequent of art shows (most international). He paints in the nude, with a few accessories: a blonde wig, and matching silver top hat, bowtie, and boots. Paint is smeared all over his body—where colors mix and mingle. He uses a smoothed canvas, and water-based acrylics. Both, I’m sure for the specific sake of comfort. Makes sense; his quill is dipped in ink for hours.
Sex sells. So does politics. And Patch knows it. So why not combine the two into an arresting piece of art? I know he’s weird, but he puts his hard-on to hard work, and creates art. Who do you know that can do that?
Europe loves its monarchs; we love our celebrities and politicians, because here they’re our royalty—except we don’t have to treat (or paint) them like it.
The novelty of his paintings makes his art something that’s easy to take as a joke. And at the end of the day Patch’s painted parody of Palin almost makes Tina Fey’s SNL impression appear tame and harmless. Imagine that.
~Sarah Parker
